Love You Regardless

17

TW's:
-Mentions trauma/panic attacks

Clay's POV

After a really rough night filled with four nightmares and two panic attacks, I woke up early the next morning. My brother stayed up all night for me and took a day off work so he could be with me today. He seemed very tired, but I appreciated it a lot that he stayed up to constantly speak to me softly. I barely slept, but I watched videos of fish and birds.

My brother smiled at me the next morning. 'I have a surprise for you. I know you don't like surprises, but it's a nice surprise!'

I nodded and made my eyes big again so he would continue.

'We are going to see Wolly today, then we are going to another farm and see some horses, cows and maybe-,' he said with a smile as he paused and pointed at my llama. 'Maybe even a llama! After that, we are going back to Wolly.'

'Really?' I muttered. 'More animals?'

'Way more! And it's not very far, I asked the owner of the farm if you could come.'

'When did you ask?'

'I texted him when you fell asleep for an hour.'

'Are you tired?'

'I'm just a little bit tired, but I'm totally fine! We should go downstairs to have breakfast.'

'Are mum and dad coming too?'

'They have to work, but they asked to be an hour later so they can see you with the llama and the other animals.'

I smiled and started running downstairs with a smile on my face. 'Llama!'

My mother smiled and nodded. 'You are going to see a llama.'

I jumped up and down out of excitement and my brother prepared the bag with my stuff as I ate a slice of bread with cheese.

'Are you okay, Clay?' my dad asked me as he knelt down next to me.

I nodded slowly and ate another bite.

'Clay, I talked with your brother and mum about this. I was wondering if you ever wanted therapy for what happened? Someone will come with you, because I know you find it very hard to be alone with someone you don't know.'

I made my eyes big again and kept eating.

'Do you think you would dare to give that a try?'

I shrugged. 'Llama.'

My dad nodded. 'Of course, we are now going to see a llama.'

I nodded and finished my slice of bread. I stood up and grabbed my brother's hand as we walked to the closest farm with Wolly first. I said hello to Wolly, gave him new food and a new bottle and hugged him after.

After ten minutes we left to the other farm as I was hopping around. My brother suddenly pointed somewhere and smiled. 'Do you see who that is?'

'Llama!' I yelled as I ran to the llama with Wolly in my hands. I stood in front of the llama and showed him Wolly as I rubbed his wool. 'Hello!' I said with a smile.

The owner of the farm walked to us too as my parents were taking pictures and he smiled. 'Hello, Clay! I heard that you want to see my animals?'

I nodded as I stared at the ground, rubbing the llama's wool.

'Would you like to ride a horse?' the farmer said as he smiled at me. 'Your brother or one of your parents will stay with you and I will hold the horse so he won't do anything bad.'

I smiled and nodded shyly. I liked horses as well. After hugging the llama for a little, I went to the horse. My dad lifted me up on the horse and I didn't have to do anything but hold my brother's hand. I laid down on the horse and rubbed his skin with a smile on my face.

He started walking and it made me very calm, causing me to put my thumb in my mouth again. I just laid down on the back of the horse as he walked around slowly and closed my eyes. I was very tired after today and so relaxed now that I was almost falling asleep.

Everyone just let me lay down like this and my brother rubbed his thumb on the top of my hand. I started dozing off and my brother lifted me off the horse without me really realising.

I was so tired and barely realised that my brother carried me to Wolly the Sheep. I sat down on the ground with my head on the sheep's back. I ended up falling asleep with Wolly the Sheep and Wolly the Llama.

I woke up a few hours later and my brother was leaning against the fence as he held my hand. I looked up at him and he smiled at me. 'Did you sleep well?'

'Wolly?'

'You were on the big horse at the other farm, but you were falling asleep, so I carried you to Wolly the Sheep.'

I smiled. 'I'm happy when I'm with both Wolly's.'

'I bet you are, they are your friends.'

I nodded and walked to my brother to cuddle with him. 'Where is George?'

'I think George went to school today.'

'I don't go to school,' I muttered.

'I know, Clay. But school was too hard for you and that's totally fine. You might be a farmer too when you grow up!'

'But I don't have money.'

'You could ask some farmer in the village if you can help them for some money?'

I smiled. 'Yes!' I jumped up. 'Who can I ask?'

'We will ask it together, okay? We can ask multiple of them.'

'Okay, then I can get some money so I can be a farmer too later.'

'That would be amazing,' my brother said. 'I will also help you a little bit, okay?'

I nodded and we went to multiple farmers. Most of them had small tasks for me which I could do for a small amount of money. It might not have been extremely much, but it was something already. I liked being at the farm and I wanted to start my own later.

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