✓ IF YOU STAY | HEESEUNG

2 - Broken Wings

Eighteen years. That was the amount of time Rose allowed herself to immerse herself in the search for her soulmate. So, the moment she turned twenty, she traded the love of her life to find a life of love. 

Art had been an avid love of hers, and the irony of someone who could only see in black and white creating paintings made it all better.

It must've been the fact that maybe one day, she would be able to see the colors her paintings were made of. Or possibly that maybe soulmates weren't just other human beings, but rather, an object or an action you find pieces of your soul in. 

While these thoughts floated around in her mind, she never bothered inking them on paper or making it a topic of conversation when people asked about her inspiration. Instead, she would laugh and tell them that art was ephemeral – perhaps that was the truth.

Even two years after her eighteenth birthday, Rose had the same mindset. However, in times when she felt lonely, she found herself longing to intertwine her soul with someone that will love her in this disabled world.

The soft shattering sound of the wheelchair echoed through the summer breeze as Rose found her way towards the town hospital. Her small hands wrapped at the side of the wheels, she tried to direct her chair on the right path and passed through the small amount of crowd carefully before the familiar sight of the building stood in front of her.

Therefore, it was also the reason for her to allow a sigh to leave her lips. At this point, she was not even sure if she was disappointed to see that nothing changed or pretended to be unbothered by it. 

As Rose at least wished for the place to be changed, to something un-hospital if she dared to say.

However, despite her quiet complaints that did not find a way to her lips, Rose had that anxiety in her, which made her visit different than any other day. Since for the first time, she wasn't there to listen to the pity of the doctor, she was there to learn if a miracle could smile on her face and maybe, she could walk again.

"Are you nervous?"

Rose heard her grandmother's voice just after the old lady rested her hands on the holder of the wheelchair. She was there to accompany Rose to the doctor and knew she was meant to at least appear excited. 

But instead, Rose's grandmother seemed indecisive about how she was supposed to feel.

Growing up in a wheelchair, Rose never really complained about her inability to walk or even declare her sadness for it. She never said something that made others notice her desire to stand on her own pair of legs; instead, she clearly named her interest a curiosity.

How can I wish to walk when I forgot how it feels to be on my own feet, Rose stated once so bravely that her grandmother couldn't manage to hold back her tears. 

She knew that Rose always left her desires aside and focused on others' happiness. Therefore, it was also the reason why she couldn't say anything when Rose announced that for a second, she managed to feel her legs.

"Are you afraid of hearing what the doctor will say?" Rose asked as instead of coming up with a proper answer, she decided to question her grandmother sincerely.

"Are you?" asked her grandmother, however, as she seemed to share the same thoughts with Rose. And that actually brought a small smile to Rose's lips, which lasted for a couple of seconds before it vanished.

"I am," She muttered at the end. She did not have a reason to lie anyway.

Rose never really thought there would be a day that she would believe in the existence of a way that would make her walk again. At least, until that one morning when she felt her legs. 

It was such a short time that if her grandmother didn't knock on her door, she would think it was a dream.

And it perhaps was.

"I'm sorry, Rose but there isn't any difference in your condition," said the doctor with a pitiful look but an ice-cold tone after the treatment Rose took. It did not even take five minutes for the doctor to come to a conclusion and even if Rose promised herself to not be sad about it, she did.

"I thought you promised to not be sad about whatever the doctor had to say," stated her grandmother as she walked down the hallway. 

She knew Rose well enough not to be deceived by her façade and thought she could remind Rose of the promise she made. Because there was no way for her to watch Rose get disappointed over something she did not have control over.

"I'm not sad," shrugged Rose, "Fortunately, I didn't have high expectations," she did not forget to add even if it was a lie. 

And Rose did not know if her grandmother noticed her lie or not, but she was grateful that no more questions were asked.

"Can you wait for me over there? I'll sign some papers and come back soon." Muttered the old lady as she played along with Rose and decided to end the conversation there. As she was well aware that both she and Rose were disappointed but neither needed to recall it over and over.

"Okay." Rose nodded her head and pushed her wheelchair to a corner of the hallway, however, as she was too lost in her thoughts, she did not take notice of the guy that turned the corner just then and collided with her.

Before she could lift her head to apologize, she froze when the world around her began to change. Rose first felt it in the corner of her eye before it started happening everywhere around her. 

The grey and white she's seen ever since she was born slowly began to bleed away, like raindrops sliding down a car window, slowly but surely being replaced with bright, bright pigments. 

They covered everything, they're impossible to escape, bringing to life the world around her. 

They're different, beautiful, bright, extraordinary, and breathtaking.

Colors, she realized. Those are colors. 

They were so beautiful that tears almost welled up in her eyes. She suddenly understood why no one was ever able to explain them to her, this feeling is something that just takes your breath away. It's unexplainable, unspeakable.

Colors.

Rose looked up at the guy in front of her. He wasn't black and white, nothing around her was black and white. Her mind felt like looking everywhere like she couldn't get enough of looking at all the colors. 

However, she couldn't take her eyes off him. Even though the whole world around her had brightened, he shone the most.

He was beautiful. So beautiful.

Rose almost broke into a smile, but the look on his face caught her off guard. He looked terrified. She opened her mouth to say something, anything to break the horrific, time-bomb-like silence that had settled between them, but before anything came out, he was taking a step back. 

Another. And another.

She just watched with empty eyes, not focused on the wondrous colors around her anymore but more on the retreating form of her other half as he ran away from her.

The colors didn't seem so beautiful anymore.