✓ IF YOU STAY | HEESEUNG

3 - Golden Hour

By the time Rose was finally reeled out of her shock, the guy was long gone. She almost felt like crying. This wasn't what was supposed to happen. They were supposed to be happy. He wasn't supposed to run away. He wasn't supposed to look so upset. This was supposed to be the best day of her life.

Her body was shivering. She wrapped her arms around herself as she kept shivering. She's feeling overwhelmed, completely overwhelmed. She found herself wanting to appreciate the beautiful colors that were making up her world, but she couldn't. She couldn't breathe.

Rose's grandmother headed towards her, but before she could say anything, Rose let out with a shaky voice, "Let's go home... please." She was trying not to feel anything, not to acknowledge the situation, not to panic. She didn't want to do that in the middle of the hospital but frankly, she didn't know how much longer she could hold out. She was losing it; she didn't know what to do.

She didn't hear her grandmother's voice asking her what was wrong. In fact, she felt herself zoning out. Her world was different. So, so different. Everything was bright and beautiful with colors. Instead of making her happy, though, it depressed her.

Colors were supposed to be the best thing that's ever happened to her. Instead, he just ran away, her second half just ran away from her. And perhaps, that's why it hurt so much. Because she finally became whole the minute they bumped into each other so it physically hurt to be torn away from that. Because it did hurt everywhere.

She opened her eyes, the soft mattress underneath her body was a clear giveaway that she was on her bed. Her grandmother was sitting right there, next to her. Rose focused on her, she looked different in color. Everything about her was so unique, so original. It brought out everything about her.

"Grandma," She called the old lady leaned forward to hear what she had to say. "Grandma, I met him."

Rose's grandmother's eyebrows furrowed as she ran her hand through the girl's hair. "Who is it, sweetheart?"

"I see it. I see colors." Rose whispered.

Her grandmother's eyes began to water as her face broke out into the most beautiful grin. Her teeth were white as they were before, but this time they seemed to stand out more against the other pigments of her skin. "Rose, sweetheart, I am so happy for you. This is amazing."

And Rose was only barely able to shake her head before she broke down into tears. "No..." She said between her sobs and looked at her worried grandmother before muttering bitterly, "He ran away."

Her grandmother frowned before she let out a heavy sigh, obviously upset that the day her granddaughter waited for all her life turned out to be the day of her heartbreak.

"Grandma, what's going to happen? I can't just live without a soulmate; I don't want to live alone. Is my chest going to hurt forever? It's not like I can go and find him and talk to him, I don't even know h-him."

Before Rose could continue her rant, her grandmother embraced her. "Rose, if you keep stressing yourself over this, it's just going to get worse. Faith is going to take care of this, just like it always does. You're going to be fine. I know you can." She smiled, which Rose responded to with a weak smile through her tears.

"Do you want to go by the lake and watch the sunset? It's so beautiful. The sky turns pink, orange, yellow..." As she listed off the colors, she gave a soft smile to Rose. Although she couldn't see colors anymore, she could imagine it all and that was enough for her.

Rose sat in her wheelchair as her grandmother settled down on the rocks by the lake, waiting for the sun to begin its descent down the sky. Rose's eyes drifted to the sky; it was so beautiful. She was left speechless. It's like someone took a brush to the sky and painted a beautiful blend of different colors. Some even reflected onto the water below, tinting the dark blue color of the lake to pink, yellow, or orange.

She could tell the colors apart because she's been reading about them for a long time. Out of all the colors around her, her favorite was blue. The color of the sky; the canvas that all the other colors were painted on. It was beautiful, it made you drown deep in it.

"You know," Her grandmother started, staring at the sky as if she could see its color. "Your eyes are blue."

Rose stared at her grandmother in surprise as the latter just smiled. It was funny because Rose didn't think of looking at her reflection in the mirror to see her colors. The colors around her were more interesting, but she was still curious about hers.

Smiling, she looked back at the sky and around her at the flowers in the field. Nothing was black, gray, or white anymore. Everything was painted with beautiful colors.

She grew curious about the colors of her paintings, of her parents in pictures she still treasured, of her grandmother's flowers, and of everyone around her. She waited for that moment for a long time, but it didn't go the way she expected it to. Rose thought her other half would be happy to finally find her, that the two of them would stick together forever and become one.

It seemed like he didn't want her, or he hated the fact that his soulmate was disabled. The thought brought Rose to a colorless world again as she ignored everything around her and just closed her eyes, sighing heavily.

"You must be thinking about him." Her grandmother spoke.

"Yes... It's hard not to." She admitted.

"What is he like?"

Rose had to open her eyes and stare at the sky again before a little smile found its way to her lips. "He's beautiful."

It was both overwhelming and delicate. Like gazing into the night sky and feeling incredibly small in comparison or like holding a shell in your hand and wondering how something can be so complex and perfect: his eyes, dark and pensive; his messy hair tucked behind one ear; his arms, strong and lean.

"That's it?" Her grandmother knew there was more.

"He looked... terrified?" She muttered, more like asked herself. "It looked like he wasn't expecting his soulmate to be someone like me."

"No, sweetheart, he should be happy his soulmate is you. If he gets to know you, he'll realize that he's very lucky." Her grandmother's words made her sigh. 

He wasn't going to get to know her. There was no way she could find him again. Was he even from that town?

She sighed again, her unanswered questions lingering in her mind as she stared at the gorgeous sky. Her soulmate was gone but at least the colors were still there.