✓ IF YOU STAY | HEESEUNG

14 - Always Stays The Same

The sound of Rose's wheelchair echoed through the corridor as Harin pushed it toward a doctor's office. Yet, this time, it wasn't Rose's doctor.

"Hello, Mr. Choi." Harin greeted him when they made their way inside, and he welcomed them with a soft smile. "Sorry for the sudden visit."

"No, don't say that. I'm glad you've come." He shook his head and glanced at Rose who was silent. "Hello, Rose, nice to meet you. I'm actually a fan of your art, I loved the exhibition. Congratulations." 

When Rose looked up at him, he had this fatherly look that carried gentleness and care. And that somehow comforted her, knowing that he was Heeseung's doctor. But would he be able to save him?

"Thank you." She forced herself to smile a little. "I appreciate it."

She didn't intend for it to sound so depressing but Mr. Choi knew how everything that was happening was so hard for her. Waiting for your soulmate your whole life and then realizing they're going to die was definitely not easy.

"About Heeseung..." Harin's hesitating voice made her heart drop as she managed to look at the doctor and wait for his response which would probably break her. 

He sighed, intertwining his hands and shaking his head. "I'm sorry, but he's not going to make it." He knew how cold he was when telling such news, but he had to make sure Rose didn't have her hopes high. 

"Can't you save him?" Her eyes were desperate and begging. She'd give away her life just for Heeseung to be okay and alive. Right then, she forgot about walking once again. Her wishes became meaningless and all she could wish for is for the world to let her have him for herself.

"I'm afraid no one can." He smiled a little, the bitterness obvious on his face. "I'm so sorry."

Harin just stared at her friend as her heart broke for another time. And she knew very well that it wasn't the last time. Rose had so much love for her soulmate that if he leaves just like that, all that love would turn into immense guilt and she'd feel suffocated.

After that doctor's visit, Rose kept herself locked in her room, drawing and painting as much as she could. She stared at the colors for so long that she'd never forget them. 

She drew Heeseung, so many versions of him, to keep him alive forever. Although that wasn't something she could do.

The plans of the two of them growing old with each other were like a house of cards being destroyed. 

It was so unfair and depressing, the fact that the road she would take with Heeseung to lead them to happiness would only break her heart and leave her empty. But she wasn't hesitating on taking that road.

She wanted to live with him every second of the time he had left. The ending might have been unchanged, but at least she'd try to make it a happy one.

So, without thinking twice or hesitating, she went to him. Heeseung was staying at his studio and she knew that since the day they last met, he was hiding. From everything and everyone, but her the most.

Rose hated how he felt guilty over everything. It wasn't his fault and knowing that whatever was happening was the reason he said he didn't want her made her heart break more than anything else. 

Because he was only trying not to keep her away from all the pain and heartbreak his story would bring her. But he didn't know Rose would move mountains just to be with him, feel his love and make him feel hers.

Stopping in front of the studio, she stared at the closed door and sighed, her eyes still glistening from all the crying of the past few days. She hesitantly knocked on the door, not really expecting any response from him.

Heeseung probably wanted to lock himself inside and die silently without people realizing it because he thought that's the way he wouldn't hurt them. But keeping them in the dark would hurt them more than he realized.

"Heeseung?" She called, her voice carrying a hint of worry. "Can you open the door... please?"

There was no sign of anyone being inside, but she knew he was there. The silence started bothering her and anxiety rushed through her. What if? What if.

She hated those two words, since the day her mother left her world. The memories and tears blurred her sight as she knocked again, this time harder and harder. And before her first collided with the door, it opened.

He stood in front of her, his eyes filled with worry and guilt and confusion all at once. "Rose..." He breathed out, frowning at the tears and at how she desperately looked at him.

"Y-you..." She managed to let out through her sobs before her arms wrapped around him, hands holding him so tight he couldn't even let go. "I t-thought-"

I thought you left. I thought I wasn't going to see you again. I thought I lost you.

"Rose..." The tears fell down his cheeks before he wiped them off and let out a shaky breath. "I'm... okay."

The two of them just stared at each other for a moment as he wiped her tears with his thumb and smiled. She knew he wasn't, but the fake smile on his face was a big effort to make her think he indeed was.

The place was quiet as Rose and Heeseung sat across from each other, their eyes locked in a deep, meaningful gaze. Neither wanted to talk about it, but it was happening and there was no way to stop the world from being this cruel to them.

They only had each other and they had to fight alongside, even if it meant Heeseung leaving first. 

"How... are you?" She hesitantly asked, her eyes never leaving his as he struggled to hold back the emotions that were threatening to overwhelm her. They knew what was coming, they just didn't accept it. Not when Rose still needed more time with Heeseung and not when he needed to know her more, love her more.

"Fine." He muttered, looking away and down at his hands. "I still have some time... you know?"

His tone was gentle and trustful, such that Rose found herself looking at him with no wish other than him to stay with her. He was her soulmate, after all, and it was depressing how their story was already reaching to ending page before she was given a chance to write it with him.

Before realizing it, she pushed her wheelchair his way and sat right in front of him, her hand holding his as she intertwined their fingers. His touch was cold, yet she rested her lips on the back of his hand and looked at him with soft, desperate eyes.

"Can't you just-" She started, unsure of how she could ask him such a thing. "Stay?"

Heeseung's hand reached for her cheek, wiping off the tears that she couldn't stop shedding. "I'm sorry, Rose... I'm so sorry."

"N-no..." She shook her head, leaning against the palm of his hand. "We're going to be... okay, hm?"

Were they? She knew it was a promise the two of them couldn't make, but they could try and make it look like it was possible.

Heeseung smiled bitterly as she stared at him, and before he knew it, they leaned in towards each other, and the air around them grew heavy with expectation. Rose could feel his breath on her lips, warm and inviting, and she closed her eyes as their mouths met in a soft, tender kiss.

For a moment, the world around them seemed to fade away, and they were lost in each other's embrace. But as their kiss deepened, they couldn't help but feel sadness wash over them. For they knew that this moment, this beautiful moment that they had dreamed of for so long, was fleeting. They knew that soon they would have to pull away and face the reality of everything the world was making them live.

When they eventually broke apart, tears streamed down Rose's cheeks, and she knew that this might be the last time they would ever kiss. She didn't know when Heeseung would lose grip of the rope of life.

As the weight of their impossible love hung heavy in the air and as the two of them smiled bitterly at each other, they could feel their hearts breaking into a million tiny pieces because their ending would always stay the same.