LILAC (Fred Weasley)

Chapter 09

„Dear Diary,

Please kill me.

To reread what I wrote is really painful I have to admit. What was my younger self even thinking? How many exclamation marks can one person even make? xD I knew why I abandoned rereading for so long.

However, you have to admit, little me was very excited for a lot of stuff. I can't blame her. And I love younger me for that. Gave me some more passion to work with.

Third year is a pain in the arse. I can tell you. We are currently midway through the year and I already have enough. The professor somehow thought that we are now at an age where they can give us even more homework than before, because apparently we need it. What kind of bullshit is that even?

I'm drowning in assignments and Lee, George and Fred get their way with their pranks. I wonder how they are able to keep up with their busy prank planning schedules and school work? Or did they suddenly stopped caring about their school journey and just focused on the fun part?

That is highly unfair. They believe they finally managed to beat the mysterious pranker. They have not. The mysterious pranker is just very much occupied with lame runes and transfigurations charts.

As much as I love the dedication Professor McGonagall has, she can be a lot sometimes. Not just her. Since we have Potions this year with the Slytherins, Snape works more in favour for them, leaving the rest of us out. I liked it way more when we had potions with the Gryffindors, because he has a natural hate towards the twins and everything that has to do with that house, so we got of the hooker most of the time.

One of the things I'm always looking forward to is Charms with Flitwick and Care of Magical Creatures. Flitwick was the first to believe in my skills and now I am one of the best in his class. Still each and every time he finds the time to encourage or compliment me.

Also he sees students as they are. He isn't annoyed by the twins at all when they joke around. He doesn't scold Gemma for not raising her hand in class more often. He knows Gemma is smart enough to already know the answer most of the time, he understands that she just feels uncomfortable with so much attention on her and lets her do her thing. He gets that the twins get along with his lesson and that's just their way of being to cheer others up. When he puts them back into their places he always has this kind look on his face.

And care of Magical Creatures is with Sean and the other Hufflepuffs that signed up for that lesson. With his knowledge and tender care our group almost always succeeds. Gemma didn't take this class, since she isn't a big fan of 'dangerous' animals. She chose Divination instead.

She claims she likes it because she can work in silence and with her own mind. I guess it has a good thing after all that she has a class alone without me. It doesn't make her nervous that she has this class with the Slytherins. Louis immediately took the seat next to her and claimed himself her assigned partner.

Don't tell Gemma, but he told me that he only did that because he didn't want her to end up with someone else that she doesn't know that well, hence even a Slytherin that can be cruel when she stutters because of her nerves. He enjoys working with her though, since she is so focused and it gives him the chance to calm down on exhausting days as well.

I wonder if Gemma realizes what effect she has on others? How unintentionally important she for others is?

Today also happened something weird. Well something that is weirder than usual between me and Fred. We know by now that I tend to create awkward atmospheres with my bad crush on him. Well however, today it seemed like he started the weird situation. Maybe I am imagining things, or it is just my wishful thinking, but I am CERTAIN he went red at the tips of his ears. He couldn't look at me, or look me in the eyes for that matter and he stumbled over his words once.

A FRED WEASLEY DOESN'T STUMBLE OVER HIS WORDS.

He is the smoothest human being that can exists. Not even George is that smooth. And he stumbles over his words when he talks to me?

What if he kind of sees me differently now too?

Or he realized that I am actually a really good catch?

Urgh. My crush is lasting now for a long time and I really hate it. I mean I just want to be friends with him and then this giddy and nervous feeling has to set in and makes everything way too complicated. Feelings suck.

But what if he has feelings too? We are only thirteen. That's- Idk. Book, what should I do? How can I loose feelings for someone you see every day and someone you really enjoy being around?

I would ask Sean or even Louis how a boy shows if they like someone, but then they would start to interrogate me who I like and that would bring endless teasing.

Help me please.

Love,

Jade."