the reunion - an ashaangi ff

xii

suprise! triple dhamaka 😁

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Five years ago

July 24th, 2021

"That is disgusting."

"Ashwin!"

"Ennathu? Paakave kandraviya iruku."

Sivaangi frowned at him. She was showing him a new food video, and for some reason her beau didn't like paneer curry in taco shells.

"Seriously, paneer enga iruku, tacos enga iruku. YouTube channel iruntha ennavenalum poduvanga pola," Ashwin said.

Sivaangi giggled, "Hello, neenga avalo periya cook lam illa."

Ashwin looked at her, "Enna ma. Cooku With Comali season 2 second runner up na."

"Athu etho consolation prize mathiri koduthanga."

Ashwin narrowed his eyes at her, "Romba pesura di. Unnaku blueberry pie kedaiyathu."

Sivaangi gasped loudly and whined, "Ashwineyy, athellam koodathu. Ennaku blueberry pie venum."

A smirk appeared on his face, "Athellam mudiyathu. Vera yaarkitayavthu kelu."

Sivaangi smiled teasingly, "Oh appadiya? Appo naa vera yaarkitayavthu poi kekava."

Ashwin knew she was playing dirty but held his pride and simply shrugged like he didn't care. Sivaangi raised an eyebrow and scrolled through her phone,

"Nethiku kooda etho oru fanpage message pann-"

Her phone was ripped from her hands by Ashwin. Sivaangi suppressed a smile and said,

"Ashwin! Kodunga."

"Mudiyathu. Ippo ethuku phone?"

A smile tugged on Sivaangi's face, "Naa antha fanpage kitta pesanum. Avar kooda blueberry pie aparam choc-"

She was interrupted again by Ashwin who leaned over and threw her phone into the highest shelf in the kitchen. She widened her eyes, there was no way she could reach that. Ashwin took a hold of her wrists and pushed her against the wall.

"Poiduvia? Vera yaarkitayavthu poiduvia?," he whispered huskily.

Ignoring the fluttering feeling in her stomach, she said, "Neenga thane po soninga."

Ashwin moved closer and wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close, holding her tight.

"Ippo po."

Sivaangi blushed profusely and said, "Ipadi iruntha enga porathu."

"Apadina poga koodathu nu artham."

He moved closer and their noses were brushing against each other now.

"Apo poga vendama?," Sivaangi whispered. He tightened his grip, pulling her even closer.

"Vendam."

Present day

Memories like that flashes by Sivaangi's eyes as he said that. It had been five years, five excruciating years since she had heard those words. Those words that had grown a plant called hope in her heart, only for its flower to be plucked away before it could bloom.

Ashwin was standing in front of her now, the distance between them farther than it was.

"Okay? It's because I love you. And I can't seem to get over you. En mind full ah eppome nee than odituiruka. Intha 5 varushthula, unna pathi yosikakoodathu, neinakakoodathu apaddinu naa nenachen. Aana ennake theriyama nee eppome en koodatha iruntha. Orthungala manasalu nenacha avangala marakka mudiyum Sivaangi, aana oruthanga thaan namma mansave irkumobothu eppadi marakka mudiyum. You're my definition of love, how can I forget that? Naa unnaku seri illa, ethanayo prachanai varum. Vanthurku. Aana Athellam thaandi, ennala onna innoruthan odu paaka mudiyathu. Nethiku naa yen solala na, naa en selfishness nala unnoda sandhoshatha keduka mudiyathu. But I can't stand seeing you with someone else."

Ashwin's words pierced through her. She didn't know what to say, or do.

He continued, "I was an asshole. Five years ago, unna thaniya vitutu poiten. Ethume ozhunga solama. Thappu than. I'm the biggest idiot. But appo ennaku ennaye pidikala. I didn't deserve you, Sivaangi. In fact, I still don't. But I can't help but want something I can't have. Ennake unna thaandi yosika mudiyala. I-" he ran a frustrated hand through his hair, "I just wanted you to be happy, and I was convinced you would be without me. Appayum seri ippayum seri, you've always been my first priority, and you've always been my biggest weakness.

Sivaangi's knees gave out and she sat down on her bed. Her mind was a clutter of emotions and thoughts. She couldn't help but tear up, her heart was full of distress and a sort of relief, to be hearing all of this after the past five years.

The room was silent. Ashwin felt as though he had let loose a luggage of feelings worth five years. His heart felt light and heavy at the same time. He didn't want to lose her, after all that had happened, he didn't want to lose her.

"Did you know I've been an insomniac for the past five years?".

Ashwin turned to look at her, "What?".

Sivaangi nodded, "Past five years, I've been an insomniac. Thookam vantha, nightmares varum. Thoongala na thala vali varum."

It was Ashwin's turn to be at a loss of words now.

"I'm not saying it's because of you. Ungala Irukalam, but athu mukiyam illa. Inthat 5 varushthula, ennake enna achune theril, Ashwin," she said. "Naa Nana illa. Sure I was smiling and laughing, but athellam ennake naan nalla iruken oru mirage ah create pandrathuku than. Ivalo naal la, na enna thappu senjen, illa enna ungaluku pudikalaya, illa I wasn't enough for you, appadinu evalavo thoughts. Kooda irukura ellarum athan sonnanga."

Ashwin was speechless. How self centred was he to think he was the only one who went through such emotions?

Tears threatened to spill on her shirt, "Appo nadanthathu, has created such a hole in my confidence that I tried too hard to cover up. But mudiyala. Ennaku ungala mathiri yaarume irunthathu illa, aana theedirnu oru neengalum enna vitutu poitinga. Ennaku appo itha pathilam pesa kooda yaarume illa."

Ashwin himself was getting teary eyed at this point. He felt so guilty, so bad. He just wanted to go back in time and never leave her.

"I just felt so lonely then. Ippo vairukum, I haven't regained that same confidence," she sniffed and wiped her tears. "Ennala atha marakamudiyum, but athunala vantha vali ah ennala marakka mudiyuma nu therila."

Ashwin was a mess of emotions, he was trying to keep his composure. But the wave of guilt hit him so hard that he was left drowning. He moved closer to her and got down on his knees.

"I'm so sorry. I never thou-. Sorry isn't enough, sathiyama I didn't-," he couldn't finish his sentences, nothing he said could encompass his grief and guilt.

Sivaangi sighed and said, "Neenga vitutu pona aparamum, ennaku oru nambikai irunthuchu," she let out a dry laugh. "Seriyana loosu than. Neenga thirumbi varuvinga, en kita pesuvinga appadinu oru nambikai irunthuchu. But for five years, nothing happened. Ennaku puiryave illa, Ashwin. I-I just wanted to see you but you kept avoiding me. I was hurt."

Ashwin hated himself so much at that moment. Mustering up whatever composure he has, he looked at her and said,

"I'm not saying you need to forgive me. In fact if is as you, I'd never forgive me. But I promise you, I regret everything. Ennaku vera eppadi solrathu nu therila, I just really badly need a second chance."

Sivaangi looked up at him and saw his glossy eyes. Fresh set of tears came over her and she said, "I-I don't know."

Ashwin let out a deep breath, "It's okay. Nee ethum solla vendam. You know that I want a second chance, and that's enough."

Ashwin got up, and said. "Just know that I'm always waiting for you."

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hi hi makkale!

i was going to sleep aana itha ezhuthama ennaku thukam varala! 😁

hope you guys liked it the confession!

hope it wasn't too emotional or something!

leave a comment if you liked it and thank you so much for reading!

love,
sai.