Blanchett

~3. Confessions..~

[edited April 18th]
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⚠️TW: mention of sh-scars⚠️

She smiled? She smiled! Fuck, I'm melting. No, no, no... it shouldn't be this way...

Both of us opened the car doors, ran through the rain and towards her front door. The tiny stones underneath my feet were digging into my shoes, the slippery sensation seemed like an unsafe one to run above.

And so happened what had to happen.

Unfortunately, I took a larger step and my foot didn't grasp hold. I slipped and landed with my back first in a puddle. It would have been totally fine, greatly amusing at all. If not a stone had been in the dirty water. Air pushed outside my lungs at once, I gasp out a pained laugh to brush the stabbing pain off, but fuck it left my whole back aching. Perhaps I was impaled. No idea what that felt like, but this seemed pretty close to it. Cate exposed that full, hearted laugh, when she saw I was laughing too, though the concern was written in each of her features.

Only now, when I was getting up from the ground, Cate started searching for her keys, while my clothes were soaking wet and covered in brown mud and water. At this point it didn't really matter anymore that my clothes were dripping to the ground. It truly was only ever amusing. Painful, yet amusing. The aching flashed from my back up my neck.

"Ms Blanchett, couldn't you have gotten your keys out a little earlier?" I teased her in a wheezing tone and earn a wicked grin from the blonde.

Cate eventually found the keys, opened the doors and even let me enter first. Of course I couldn't resist a comment like "What a gentlewoman", which was obviously meant sarcastically and earned me another annoyed gaze and a comment herself.

"Be careful little one."

I froze on the spot. I didn't even notice Cate was gone, until she approached me only wearing a bathrobe and another one in her hand.

"Could I maybe take a shower to get that puddle smell and dirt off of me?" I blankly questioned, wanting to escape the situation.

"Yes, sure. The bathroom is down the hall." She pointed the direction, before remembering I would be aware of where it was located.

"Not the only one, eh?"

"You have a great memory." She handed me the bathrobe and our fingers slightly grazed one another and I wanted to feel more of the heat.

I need to stop thinking those inappropriate things...
The last time this happened, I got literally my heart broken.

From the bathroom I yelled, "I'll be finished in just a minute!"

"Yeah, as if that was ever true!" Cate yelled back, which lead me to chuckle a lot. She's right, of course. When filming, I was always the last to get ready. There was always something to fix in the mirror.

I closed the door behind me and met that idiotic smile in my reflection. How was Cate doing this? This feeling... the joy inside of me came back when I first saw her on the plane, even though I was hugely disappointed and more so hurt, there was still something else. Since the encounter on the plane, the craving of seeing Cate again grew so intense... it didn't fit right with me to think about it. So wrong...

My back connected with the door sending a flashing pain through my body and I immediately jumped away from it again. Perhaps I should take a breath on that one...

The shower and I were no best friends, well other things and I weren't either, but to say it's only the shower I liked to avoid.. no it didn't sound any prettier, in fact it confused me too.
While the hot water washed the soap down my skin, I let my fingers run above my lower abdomen. Rough skin met my touch.
Scars which remind me of darker times. Times I wished I would not exist.
I needed to get out of here. I fucking hate the shower.