Blanchett

~7. Kissing in the rain~

⚠️Tw: Mention of sh? smut⚠️

Within an hour, my mom came back as well. She had that constant smile on her face. The smile of people that are head over heels. Disgustingly cute. I mean, I was glad my mom was happy, no question there, but actually what if that smile of hers was not necessarily because of her date, but Cate and I were the reason?

Since the day I have told her we were working together, my mom flipped out and was so excited for me. They both knew each other from the past and they were friends, but haven't seen each other in a while so I, of course, was forced to invite Cate over at some point when we were in the UK.

My mom saw we got along pretty well and was a supporter all along. After everything went totally and super wrong, I shut down. I cut everyone I knew out, that included my mom as well. A week after the incident, my mom personally found me in a hotel room and well let me tell you, she knew that my mental state was at its lowest at that point.

My mom was amazing at those times, she was gentle when needed and rough when it was required as well. Sometimes she just needed to kick my ass, when I was about to do something stupid, but she always gave me a reason to look forward and to focus on. It was my work and were the awards at that time.
Which my current go on reasons were, you may wonder now, well I was not sure at all either. But one thing I did know was, that Cate was someone special to me. I really was so glad she took me even with the flaws.

What if I spent more time with her? No, I did not want to bother her. However, we were kinda close, weren't we? Cate saw me naked, like in the shower. Therefore there also was this moment we had, when she hugged me under the water, which was not sexual at all. But then again on the couch we cuddled and then she said something, which if you asked me was meant to be something else at first. "I love y-our.. smile." Did she want to say.. I love you? No. No, why would she? Only because I was falling for her, didn't mean she did  too. There was just one kiss... we slept in a bed and cuddled... we took a shower together... and I even told her about my mental health and the self harm. What were we now? Clearly we missed each other. Also it seemed like she heard what I said that morning. The "I am lost without you" part, which was true and I was scared sick that if we ever get together, like in a couple together, that she would leave me... but then she also had her "I was lost without you, baby..." part and what was I supposed to do and think now?
There were times I would let her do anything to me and I was sure she would take that chance, but then I was also afraid, Cate might not want it...

Did any of these thought even make any sense?!

Oh and my mom... Yeah, so she said I should spent more time with Cate. Which was what I wanted, as already mentioned... but my mom just blurted that bit in front of Cate out. Guess what she said? It would be a great idea to sleep over at hers. So currently I was seated next to Cate in her car, with my suitcase in the backseat, not sure if she meant the part with the good idea.

There I was sitting next to Cate, looking out the window, into the fading sunset, when she reached with her free hand for my thigh.

"You're very quiet." She noticed. "What's about it?"

I sighed. "Did you mean it, when you said it was a good idea, to have me over?"

"What? Of course! but I said it was a great idea." The blonde added and squeezed my thigh, making a small smile appear on my lips.

"That was the only thing on your mind?"

Imagine she would know what a freaking chaos was going on in my head. Not really funny.

"Mhm I guess so." As said, I did not want to lie to Cate, so that was not really a lie, cause I didn't say yes or no, directly.

"I guess so?" Cate took a glimpse at me, before focusing back on the street.