neko-chan| kenma kozume

𝟝𝟟: <𝕝𝕠𝕠𝕤𝕖 𝕖𝕟𝕕𝕤>

👾

I read once in a book that there were five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. They said depending upon the person depends upon how fast they move through it, or how often they've experienced death. Clearly, death is no foreign concept for me. 

It seems as though the grim reaper is right on my tail wherever I go, bringing some sort of nonsense with himself...this time, he's orphaned me. 

At first the denial was confusing. How was I supposed to hope for a man I deeply resented and wanted off of my back to be alive? Yet somehow, that was the case. 

I remember spending the day in mostly stoic silence. It even caught Kenma off guard and made him nervous. I felt guilty over it when he'd decided to walk me all the way home instead of stopping and the only words I said to him were "thank you", "I'll see you tomorrow", "bye", and "I love you". 

Then once I'd has time to brew in my thoughts home alone, I'd slowly become mad, at not just everything, but even myself. How pathetic was I to have been wanting someone like my father to be alive. The man who only loved me when my mother was around, who tried to tear Kenma and I apart, the man who treated me as merely an object for trade and not his own child. He'd caused me so many nights of crying myself to sleep I can't even begin to count- and I was hoping he'd be alive. I would look in the mirror and my face would scrunch in disgust at myself, I laid down all of the photos of him around the house face down so I didn't have to look at him anymore. He had what as coming to him, and karma just had it's way of working. 

the next day rolled around and the fire in my stomach was still burning bright. I had a scowl painted on my face and felt more annoyed than usual. Why did everyone really have to talk to me like that, treat me like some sheltered and protected child. I'm an adult, they should treat me as such either way; we're all the same age. 

I just wanted to be alone. During lessons I'd space out, daydream of other things so I could separate myself from everyone, at lunch I'd go to the roof. Eventually I'd see Kenma walk through the door from the stairwell and he'd just take a seat beside me; he wouldn't say anything, just play his video games and let me rest my head on his shoulder. Sometimes I'd get annoyed with him, but it would all fall apart a minute later, same for Asami... but anyone outside of those two were at my mercy. 

"Kenma..." 

"hm?" he hummed in acknowledgement, waiting for me to continue. 

"what're we going to do after highschool now... My dad isn't here to dictate my life so I can really do whatever I want." 

"I think you should go to the college he had set up for you and I'll do whatever life takes me with, and we'll figure everything out from there." 

"I'm finally freed from the bastard and now you're telling me to go through with what he wanted to do to hold me down?!" I shot off of his shoulder and gave him an angry glare. He just maintained his same calm face, the one he'd always give me. The corners of his mouth upturned into a small smile, and his eyes locking onto mine, nothing different or abnormal about it. 

"well... think of it as the last thing you can do for him."

"I don't want to do anything for that shitwad, dead or alive." 

"think of it as a final f-you... succeed with the college he gave you and live a happy life. Just because you go to the college he chose doesn't mean you can't switch majors." 

I grumbled, crossing my arms and staring through my eyebrows waiting for him to continue. 

"Are you planning on taking over the company?" 

"Yeah, it's what my mom would've wanted..."

"then do the right major for that." 

"but what about you?" 

"I'll be waiting" his small smile grew just enough, his eyes slightly crinkled and the afternoon light illuminated his face. 

"alright..." I turned my body back around and we went back to our original position. I had a lot to contemplate and not enough time. 

After school that day I dragged Kenma off to a side street and called Kawari. When his car pulled up infront of us and we got into the back seat he gave me a sullen look, but didn't mention anything further. We'd talked the night prior about everything, me spilling my guts and him patiently listening and just giving me advice. 

Once we'd arrived at my father's old mansion I told Kawari to go and get himself a nice dinner or something on the company card and he nodded. As we made our way up the stone path to the contemporary-japanese style house I looked around at everything infront of me. Whether I like it or not, this is all mine... a whole empire my father and his father and his father before him worked so hard to raise up. It's all left in the hands of some girl newly into adulthood and having no idea what she's doing. 

Kenma and I walked up into my father's personal office. I sat down in the leather chair much too big for me and pulled myself to the ebony desk. Seeing the log in screen infront of me I typed in the password. 

"KTHTFLOWER" 

It was a combination of my initals and my mothers, and the "FLOWER" stands for the nickname my mother gave me. 

so all in all the password technically means:

Kireina Tensai Haruko Tensai Flower

Sure, it's sentimental, but I just think its a secure passwords is all. 

I immediately went to his inbox, that's where the correspondence between my father and my college would be. 

I clicked on an email that looked like it could be the one. 

Hello Mr.Tensai, 

We're pleased that you and your daughter have chosen our school to be the next step in miss Kireina's education. Here at Stanford we strive to succeed in all fields, but we believe you;ll appreciate our business curriculum the most. Miss Kireina is scheduled to be attending this next school year and we are excited to welcome her as apart of our school. 

In best regards, 

Tsuchimoto Taro, Japanese education liaison

"America..." Kenma whispered from behind my shoulder. 

I turned my torso to face him the best I could, "do you still think I should go?" 

"yes." He didn't hesitate to respond. 

I was taken aback, never had he taken such little time to reply and this is something huge.

"how can you make that choice so quickly when it's such a big one?!" I furrowed my eyebrows to him. 

"You need to put yourself before this relationship. Stanford is a top school in the world and American ivy-league college exchanges are highly sought after here. You should go. If we're meant to be, then we're meant to be. Besides, it says in the email thread below that you'd only be attending for two years. We can make it" 

His words echoed through my head as I stared at the computer screen in front of me. My next two years, all written in some 10 message long email thread. Although what Kenma says is true...is it really worth it? 

👾

Konichiwa~

Ends are starting to tie up >:) Also, I'm sick...again. pffft my immune system really said "weakest link". Also, I start school on the 28th (someone plz save me from that eternal hell) so if chapters are late its because when it comes to school I'm a very busy person (band leadership, band itself, football management, AP math, honors eng, college, etc...). I'll do my best to be consistent but if uploads are late then I'm afraid that's why. Anyways, happy tuesday everyone! I hope you all have an amazing morning/afternoon/night and please stay safe!!! 

~mizukei