A Different Path

Chapter 43 - Confusing

Criticism spot! :)

Crutchie's POV

The bell woke me up as usual and I immediately moved closer to Jack, Not wanting him to get up. He chuckled a little, pushing my hair from my face. I looked up and smiled at him, and he did the same back.

"How're you feeling?" He asked, speaking quietly.

"I feel a little better, but I still feel... Tired, I guess?" Jack nodded to show he understood, still smiling kindly.

"You're comin' with me today. I don't want you to do anything to yourself," he said, and I sighed. "I'll get you some clothes and then take the wrap off your hand, alright?" I nodded, and he stood, ruffling my hair as he walked to grab clothes.

After we had changed he gently took the wrap from my hand, kissing me on the top of the head once he finished. We left down the ladder and met Race, completely skipping trying to check on my hand. When we reached the gate to the square, I suddenly felt dread overcome me, causing me to stop dead in my tracks.

"What's wrong?" Jack wasted no time asking, studying my closely.

"I don't know why, but I really think I shouln't go in there," I answered, glancing at Race for a moment. 

"Race, I'll get your papes and bring 'em to you, wait out here with Crutchie." Jack instructed, and Race nodded. He took off into the square, leaving Race and I alone. I couldn't help but feel a little confused about why he didn't let me wait alone, making Race stay with me.

"Usually he just let's me wait alone," I said, looking at Race.

"He won't because of last night," he explained, giving me a look of sympathy.

"I don't need to be babysat," I said, far colder than I meant to. 

"We know that, we just want you to be safe," Race continued, talking quieter than usual.

"Forget it," I mumbled, looking to the ground.

Race didn't push me to talk any further while we waited, and eventually Jack came and handed him his papes, smiling at me. I didn't say a word as we left, still upset. Even once Race had left us I still didn't talk, both because of how frustrated I felt, but also because I was tired. Jack walked me to the alley as usual, handing me my journal before walking off to sell. I opened it and just stared for a moment, unsure how to even begin on everything I was feeling. I finally decided I'd just write down what feelings were running through my head rather than going on a rant about everything.

Tired, done, don't want to be alive, losing hope and motivation, feeling like a problem, so, so done

I stared at the page once I had finished, reading it over and over. I then turned the page, starting to write stories in order to take my mind off of things.

The day went by slowly, but Jack eventually came to the alley, putting his hand out with a smile. He helped me up, but I kept my eyes off him, not wanting him to notice that I was upset. We walked in silence for a few minutes before he looked at me, clearly worried.

"You doing okay?" He asked, his voice quiet.

"Mhm," was all I said, keeping my eyes on the ground.

"It's game night, if you want to play," he offered, not pushing me to talk. I nodded, smiling at him for a moment.

Thankfully we didn't talk the rest of the way back, giving me time to prepare myself for all the noise and chaos of game night.  Before we started, we went to Race's room to eat dinner, and the two of them talked while I kept quiet. Race eventually looked at me, glancing to Jack with worry, but not saying anything.