The Mom Next Door

52-Not Yourself

*Jens pov*

Leah left last night, shortly after our fight. She told me to stop by before I went back to France today. Only for Sofia, but I know she wants to see me one last time.

And I want to see her too. So I get up and get dressed before grabbing my suitcase. I pack some more clothes that I want to bring to France, before saying goodbye to my apartment for the last time.

I drive to my mom's house and pull in the driveway. I explain to my mom that I'm leaving for good, and luckily she's understanding about it. I told her I'll visit, and that I left the apartment to her since I know she wants to get away sometimes.

We say our emotional goodbyes, then I walk to Leah's front porch and knock on the door. Leah answers and smiles softly. We don't say anything to eachother, she just lets me in, and I walk up to Sofia's room.

I knock on Sofia's door lightly. "Yep?" She says and I open the door. She smiles big once she sees me and runs over to me. "Hey you." I say softly. "Are you staying here longer??" She asks hopeful and I tilt my head. "We need to talk..." I say and sit her down on her bed.

-

"No...No!" She says once I explain That I'm moving to France permanently. "It's okay Sofia. I'll visit you." I say. "I don't want you to visit. I want you to stay here!" She says. "Baby...it doesn't work like that." I say softly. "Then how does it work..?" She asks and starts to cry. "It's complicated. People come and go." I tilt my head. "But you don't have to go.." She says as a tear falls down her cheek. "I need to... You'll understand one day. You'll go to college and leave too. It's a part of life." I say. "I don't want to leave. I don't want you to leave." She says and I sigh.

I look down at my watch and realize my flight leaves in forty minutes. "I'll send you packages every week baby." I say and stand up. "I-I don't want packages. I want you." She frowns. "I have to go mama. I love you." I say and kiss her forehead. She takes my hand and holds it.

She walks me down stairs and I open the front door. "I love you." I turn to her. "No. Please don't go!" She says and I turn away since I feel my eyes start to get teary. "Jennifer!" She says as I start to walk to my car. "Come back!" She says and cry's even more.

I get in my car and shut the door. I look out the window at Sofia crying on the front porch. "Don't leave me!" She calls out as my eyes overflow with tears. Leah walks out onto the front porch and touches Sofia's shoulder, but Sofia jerks away.

I start the car and Leah keeps eye contact with me as I drive away. I drive to the airport and board my flight, crying the whole way back to France.

-

I get out of the cab and pay the driver. Then I walk up to my apartment building. I open the door and there's Giselle, at the front desk like always. She looks up at me and smiles. I can't help but smile back even though my heart still hurts. "Bonjour." I say sweetly.

She stands up and walks over to me, giving me a hug. I hug her back tightly, since I needed a hug. "Woah...you okay?" She asks and pulls away, looking at me.

It's always when someone asks you if you're okay, then you break down. And I just start crying.

She hugs me again and lets me get it all out. "You want to talk?" She asks softly once she pulls away. And I shake my head 'no'.

"No...I just need a nap." I shrug and she giggles. "Alright. Well go nap, and I'll take you out to eat." She says and I nod.

I go upstairs and unpack my stuff. This is where I'm living from now on. I've decided that I'm never going back. I love New York, I really do. But now it just reminds me of Leah.

So I'm moving on for my own good. I love New York, but I love France just as much. It's different here, and it makes me feel happy.

Once I unpack, I lay in my bed and fall asleep. I wake up after an hour or two. Then I get dressed to get dinner.

"Hey, I was just finishing up." Giselle says once I come downstairs. "You ready?" She asks and I nod. "Alright, let's go." She says.

We walk to a nearby restaurant, and we immediately get a table since it's not packed at all.

"So how was your visit?" Giselle asks once we order our food. "Um...shitty." I say, trying not to think about it.

"Why?" She says and I look at her. She tilts her head, waiting for me to answer. I sigh before answering her. "I went to visit Leah....and I walked in on her and her ex..." I say and look down.

"Oh my..." She raises one brow. "She's back with her ex husband, a-and I just don't know what to think." I shrug.

"Well did you two talk about it?" She asks softly. "We argued about it.." I say. She sighs and looks at me. "I told her that I'll leave her, and move here. And she said go right ahead." I shrug. She furrows her brows and looks at me.

"So are you?" She asks. "Am I what?" I ask. "Moving here." She says and I look at her. "Mhm." I nod.

"Really?" She asks and forms a small smile. "Yeah. I love it here, so why not?" I shrug and she smiles even bigger.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She asks. "I don't know." I force a smile and shrug. "Well I'm sorry that all happened. But I do think that this will be good for you." She assures me.

"I hope so." I say. "Don't worry. Everything will fall into place." She tilts her head.

We eat our food, then we walk home.

-

It's been weeks and I've really just been focusing on schoolwork. It's hard to not think about Leah, but I'm trying. I just have to accept that it's over. It's over, and I can't do anything about it.

I need to get over it and focus on more important things.

I hear a knock on the door, and I figure it probably Giselle, so I tell her to come in. I turn when I hear my bedroom door open.

"Hey." Giselle says. "Hi." I say. "Everything okay?" She asks and sits on my bed. "Yeah baby. Why?" I ask. "I'm worried about you." She tilts her head.

I giggle and roll my eyes. "I'm fine." I shrug it off. She looks at me, not buying it. "You haven't come out of your room in weeks. Only to go to class." She says and I look at her.

"Just been busy I guess." I shrug. "Well can't you make time for me?" She tilts her head and I smile. "I'm sorry." I say. "It's okay. I just miss you." She says. "I know. I'm just- exhausted." I say.

"I understand. I just want to make sure you're okay." She says. "I'll be fine." I assure her. She gets quiet, not really believing it. 

"You've not been yourself Jennifér..." She says and I look at her. "You're usually so bright and bubbly." She tilts her head.

It hurts when someone tells you that you're not yourself. You never know how to feel about that.

"I feel like you're drifting." She says. "What do you mean?" I ask. "Almost like you're disassociating. It's like you're not here." She says.

I look down, then back up at her. "I'm trying." I say shakily. "I know, I know. Just- try not to overthink things." She says. "Just live in the moment. Please don't overlook the opportunities right in front of you." She says. I force a smile and nod.

"Thankyou Giselle." I say. "You can always talk to me, ok?" She asks and I nod repeatedly. "I know." I say.

"Ok...we'll I'll see you later." She says and stands up before leaving.