Broken Toys - Johanna Mason x fem reader

Chapter 3 - Endless Train Ride

The victory tour was even worse than I had imagined it, although it was exciting to get a glimpse at all districts. 

I had to face the families of the fallen tributes, which was especially horrible in district 10 and 2. The death stares had literally killed something inside of me for a moment. I had to tell myself that it was not my fault. That it had been self-defense and that I had not wanted to kill anyone. 

I read out my cards and tried ignoring my inner state. Fortunately I had not been close to any of the deceased tributes. That would have made matters worse for me now. It would have hurt even more, though the pain and guilt seemed to suffocate me already. 

At the party at the Capitol I had to dance a lot with many different people. That was not a problem but rather the fact that everyone wanted me to eat every of the various dishes which was impossible. At least I thought it was until they presented me a liquid that would make me throw up. So I would be able to eat more. Disgust filled me at that thought. My parents had died out of starvation. Countless people in district 11 and most probably other districts died every year out of starvation while the citizens of the Capitol emptied their stomachs with a liquid to eat more than they are physically able to. 

The rage threatened to overpower me. For once I was relieved to hear Snow. He started to hold a speech saving me from my miserable situation. 

Quickly I moved away from the liquid. 

In the end everything worked out as well as it could possibly have. 

On the train ride back to district 11 I realized something though. In a few months a new challenge awaited me. I would become a mentor for a child of district 11. Once you entered this train you would never leave it again.

Half a year later I was standing on the stage of district 11 as the reaping was taking place. The only thing calming me was the fact that my siblings were too young to participate yet. 

"The tributes of district 11 for the 73rd Hunger Games are Callie Starl and Zet Hubar!" 

Both of them were fifteen years old. Thanks to the additional rations during the last year due to my victory they did not look as malnourished as the usual tributes of our district. But one year of proper nutrition could not erase fourteen years of struggling against hunger. 

Seeder, Chaff and I set off toward the train. This year Seeder would coach me to become a mentor, but next year I would be on my own. The new victors always replaced the old ones as a mentor of the same gender. 

"Remember what we talked about. You have to try your hardest to help, but you don't have control", Seeder reminded me. 

We had met many times since my 'victory' and she was very precious to me. 

I nodded taking in her words, although I knew it sounded easier than it was. I doubted that I would be able to draw the line between my task and my personal feelings. 

When Callie and Zet joined us they looked horrified. No surprise, considering that we were probably sending them off to die soon. 

Seeder and Chaff explained everything that would happen in the next few days while I halfheartedly listened. 

"We are going to die anyway", Zet mumbled. 

"That's exactly what I said", I remembered. 

"But you aren't like us! I'm neither good at survival nor at fighting. I have always worked on the vegetable patches. So I never climbed up a tree. Unlike most of our district, I don't know a lot about herbs because no one ever taught me. And I might be athletic and well-build for someone from district 11, but I can never keep up with the careers. I'm just average. You can't win the games without special talents", Zet ranted.