Broken Toys - Johanna Mason x fem reader

Chapter 9 - Fight!

My house was completely empty, no one left but me. It was already late at night as I had just returned from district 13. 

I let myself fall onto my bed. The familiar emptiness inside of me was overwhelming. Due to all the new insights I had been distracted from my sorrow, but now it was hitting me full force. There would be no one to comfort me this time. 

I looked at the empty bed beside me. Rue had barely used it. She had always been with me to hold me when I had had a nightmare. If I got any sleep the nightmares would definitely eat me up tonight. 

Silent tears flew down my cheeks. I could be sure to have someone to return to after this war if I survived it. Like two years ago after my games. But it would never be the same again and I could not bear it. 

A ringing sound captured my ears. After a few seconds I realized that it was the phone. 

"You jerk didn't call back", Johanna yelled at me. She had waited the whole time? 

"Sorry, I ..." 

"Wait! Are you crying?", she interrupted me. 

"Doesn't matter", I replied. "I will join the rebellion and fight together with my people. My family is safe." 

"Dammit! We can't talk freely on the phone and I can't visit you either. But if you die I will kill you!" 

"If Snow killed me now it would just enrage my district even more. It wouldn't be a wise move and he isn't stupid." 

Suddenly the phone call was interrupted. I tried calling again, but it did not work, neither with Finnick and Annie, or any other victor. 

I knocked onto Seeder's door. 

"(f/n)? It's pretty late", a sleepy Seeder greeted me. 

Without asking I stepped into her house and went to her phone. It was not working either. 

"What is it, (f/n)?", Seeder worried. 

"Snow cut us off. The phones don't work anymore", I realized. "He is afraid that we ally against him because of the riots. He is aware that many of us hold a grudge against him and that it will get harder to control us. So he uses a preventive strategy." 

"I saw your family leaving earlier. What is going on?", Seeder asked. 

"I had to make sure they are safe. Seeder, as a victor and Rue's sister I can't stand by." She nodded understandingly. 

"The riots began with Katniss' salute. I think she didn't even notice that she was opposing the Capitol or at least not to what extent. She sparked a small flame. You could easily turn it into a huge fire." 

I nodded and went back to my house. To me, no peace would be worth Rue's death. But I had no time to grieve now. 

My breathing quickened at the sight of the familiar rooms inside my house. Everything reminded me of what I had lost, of the fact that I was all alone right now. 

Hence I climbed onto a tree outside. One that Rue had never climbed onto because she had not liked plums. 

When I closed my eyes I felt like I was inside the arena again. The feeling inside of me was too similar to the feeling I had had during my games. Alone in a battle I most probably would not be able to survive. Where every action I chose could mean the death of a human, whether it was me or someone else. Without any control or knowledge about what the Capitol was going to throw at me next. Nevertheless I had to make a choice between risking my life fighting or most likely dying without fighting. Snow had taken the decision from me when he had killed Rue.