Broken Toys - Johanna Mason x fem reader

Chapter 17 - Breakdown

I hurried to eat my dinner. At least I had managed to get some training, but I wanted to train more after visiting Katniss and Finnick. They were the only people who knew how I felt with Johanna being a captive as they were experiencing the same. At least I was not completely alone. 

When I approached Katniss' room I heard Peeta's voice and quickly entered. 

"Don't be stupid, Katniss! Use your mind! They want to use you as a weapon to wipe out humanity. If you have such a great influence, then you have to use it to stop all of this! Stop the war, before it's too late! Ask yourself, if you can really trust the people you work for! Do you even know what is happening? If not ... you have to find it out." 

The screen turned black. 

I felt sick. Peeta had looked horrible and his words ... What had they done to him and what were they doing to Johanna? 

I barely noticed how Finnick turned the TV off, while I was frozen beside the bed. 

He grabbed Katniss' arms. "We didn't see that." 

"What?", Katniss mumbled absentmindedly. 

"We didn't see Peeta. Only the propo about district 8. Then we turned the TV off because the pictures upset you. Alright?" 

Katniss nodded. 

"Eat your dinner!" 

While Katniss was eating, Heavensbee and Fulvia appear. 

I was sitting on the ground staring at the wall. 

At first Heavensbee and Fulvia did not notice me. 

Finnick had given me worried looks, but had stayed with Katniss. 

In the background I heared all of them talking about the propo. I came back to my senses, when Finnick casually noted that they had turned the TV off after the propo. 

The gamemaster seemed to be relieved until he spotted me on the floor. 

"Hey, (f/n). Are you alright?" 

I snapped out of my daze and gave him an exhausted smile. 

"Yeah. The video about Rue upset me. That's all. But I will be fine", I assured him. 

It was not completely a lie, but right now I was rather worried about Johanna. 

He nodded at my response, more relaxed. Then he and Fulvia left. No word about Peeta. 

Had Finnick tested them? And apparently he had been right. They were doing everything in their might to keep us, especially Katniss, working. Skipping some important news did not matter to them. As long as everything worked out for them, we could be kept in the dark. 

Suddenly Finnick was sitting beside me and pulled me toward him. "Shh. I know", he whispered soothingly while stroking my cheeks. He was wiping my tears away. 

I quickly stole the task from him and wiped them away myself. "Of course. It'll work out", I exclaimed while standing up. I had wanted to reassure especially myself, but my voice had sounded so broken that I felt even weaker than before. 

Katniss was looking at me, but I could not care less. I just wanted to get away from here, but Finnick pulled me back into his arms, making me struggle. 

"Stop! Let go!" 

He simply held me tighter as an answer. Deep down I knew that he wanted to help me and that he actually gave me what I needed: Support and comfort. But I could not take it right now. I had to choose between taking care of myself and being able to perform. It was not the time for me to crumble, although that time had not come for months and I was breaking more every day.