Mrs Oliver Jarvis Anderson [Wattys 2015]

Guilt

We were standing infront of St. Francis Hospital. Oliver seemed perturbed and refused to answer any of my questions back in the car.

"Oliver,can you atleast tell me what is going on?" I held his wrist.

Oliver shot me an icy look before releasing his hand from my grip.

"Just follow me." He said rushing into the Emergency section of the hospital.

When we reached one of the wards, I saw Giovanna weeping along with Timothy consoling her. Once she saw Oliver, Giovanna ran towards him and cried on his shoulders.

"Dad has brain tumour. He never told us this. He..he can leave us anytime" Giovanna wailed letting her tears stain Oliver's shirt.

I was immediately struck by guilt upon seeing Giovanna crying. If I had told her or Oliver about Harry, would have things been different?

Timothy came towards us and pulled Giovanna gently away from Oliver who stood there with a tensed posture. He was frigid and refused to show any emotions but I could see the pain in his eyes.

Oliver walked nearer to the ward but this time Sarah came running to him with a teddy bear in right hand.
"Olly, grandad!!!" She cried to him.
My heart broke into bits the moment I saw the little girl cry out of despair. I felt like an evil witch now.

Oliver carried her up and hugged her tight, refusing to open his mouth and consoling her.
"Have her for awhile. I will speak to the doctors."Oliver said to me,passing Sarah to me.

I carried Sarah and rubbed her back gently to soothe her.
"Oliver, Can we see Harry now?" I asked him with fear. I was afraid he would blast at me if I press the wrong button.
"Dont think so." Oliver left the place.

After Oliver left, I sat on an available couch for the visitors, contemplating about what I have done. It felt like my fault. If I had chosen to tell Oliver about Harry, today, Harry would not have been so serious. The whole family is grieve stricken because of me now.

Sarah soon fell asleep and Timothy got her from me.
He asked me if I needed a lift back home as it was already midnight and there was no signs of Oliver.
I politely declined his offer.

I cant leave Oliver when he is internally suffering. Im sure he had spoken with the doctors long ago but has gone away to seek solace in solitude.
I decided to wait in the visitors area itself but couldnt stand the sight of a crying Giovanna and Fina looking at me as if I was an untouchable. So I left to the nearest cafè to get a cup of coffee.

As I entered the cafè I saw Noah sitting there with his coffee and a sandwich. I ordered my coffee and sat with him.
"How are you, Nat?" Noah questioned.
I nodded my head at him.

"Is something wrong? I mean you look like you are thinking about something deep. Is it about Harry?" He probed me.
The thing about Noah is that he knows me a bit too well. He is able to distinguish between my sorrow and devastation.
I needed some comfort now. Maybe divulging the truth to my best friend can help.
"I knew about Harry's condition before." I confessed.
" What?!" Noah almost choked on his sandwich.
"Yes. Harry told me a few weeks ago when he visited my office. But he made me promise that I wont tell Oliver about this. Thats why I had to keep my mouth shut." I cried.

"But still, Natalie... you should have told Oliver. You could have saved a life." Noah argued.

"Harry was already in his last stage. Noah, trust me, I would have not missed the opportunity to save Harry. But Harry wanted his children to lead their lives happily without having to worry his children. Thats why he didnt want them to know it. But I should have told Oliver. Its all my fault." I covered my face as I cried.

"Oliver..." I heard Noah gasp in shock.