Levi X !Conflicted! Reader

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"Here for You"

‼️WARNINGS‼️

•Mentions of Trauma

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(Inspired by "Beautiful Disaster" by Kelly Clarkson)

Third Person POV

Dating a man with a tough past was more to bite off than she could chew. The idea originally sounded much easier than what it had really become. The stage of regret hadn't set in until just recently. As each day passed by, the realization of how much this person was actually hurting inside, ate her up. The biggest mistake in all of this was thinking that she could help fix him so he could forget his past and move on. Unfortunately, that's not how it always works. The past is still attached to a soul, even without defining them. You can never choose the starting grounds but you can always change your course. Attempting her hardest to assist this man on feeling somewhat normal was a tough challenge. One she started to accept as never being able to accomplish. Even through all the bad and hard times, Lord, he was everything she had wanted and more.

It seemed that each morning she woke up to, the regrets would fade away as if they had never existed. If only she could stick it out until things got better. Then, as nights grew, those regrets would surface yet again. Tears fell each night for his hopeless sake. Most of those evenings, Section Commander Hange would come into her room for comforting. They would talk or simply hold onto her. Whatever she needed in the moment. He was a tough man, stronger than every soldier combined but underneath that tough exterior, a little boy with countless traumas weeped silently. More unimaginable memories than someone could possibly think of.

"Can I change him?" The girl always found herself asking, second guessing whether or not she was capable of such a thing. Certainly, there had to be a way to help him cope in a healthy way. She never understood how someone could see the things he's seen and not talk about them, or better yet, never acknowledge them ever again. At the end of the day, she would want to hold him close but that was not the kind of person he was. As she hurt for him, he wouldn't even think to hold her back. Through it all, she wanted it to work out in the end, no matter how tough it would be. The climb was not an easy one. There was still something that kept her by his side though...

Was it the love he did give her? The love he anticipated to give her once he was okay enough? What was it? She still awaited his full authentic love and self to come through. What if she was waiting on something that would never come? Regrets, regrets, regrets... they would always come back.

Recalling the way his hands felt on her (color) skin, cold but comforting. Always soft like the petals on a fresh flower. His touch alone was never going to be enough for her or vice versa. Deciding to take on the challenge of accepting his baggage was one she vowed herself to. She promised him that it didn't bother her. She would be there for him. Those words were so much easier to say months ago... before all the regret came.

Staring back into his cool irises washed away those temporary feelings, making her forget all her previous thoughts. His eyes were like a drug, anytime they came into contact. If only it were that easy all the time. As soon as their gazes would break, the thought of trying to hold on just for him would return before eventually turning into fear of never being able to live up to her promise. What would he think if she failed him?

Learning about his traumas and childhood, she could never leave him with that sort of information in her system. When their eyes reconnected, his beauty and strength reassured her all over again. Just like a trance. Surely, she could hold on just a bit longer for him. Maybe it wouldn't all be a disaster.



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Ayo sorry its been forever I've been busy being out of town and seeing my friends before school starts again yuhhhh

Anyway imma go to bed since it's 3am and I threw this together in 15 minutes. Hope you enjoyed it tho <3

~AlpineBreadStick

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