Rejected By My Bestfriend, Accepted By The Badboy

Chapter Twenty- Three

Song for Chapter:

At My Weakest by James Arthur

***

I’ve seen Fabian sad before. But this?  This was far from sad. 

He seemed so torn apart. He wouldn’t even meet my gaze. He seems afraid to look at me, and that sort of hurts my feelings. 

Does he think that I will blame him for what happened?  Yes, I felt a nudge of pain that he could’ve done something, but his mind was obviously not in the right place. 

If it was, then that girl would’ve been alive today. I could see it in his eyes. He actually wants to go back to that day to fix it. It pains me to see him like this. But it is what it is now. I just need to help him realize that. 

I held onto his cheek and guided his gaze to mine, but even then he let his eyes drop to his lap. Sighing, I used my thumb to gently caress his cheek. I saw as the tension fell from his body, and my lips twitched upwards a little at the sight. 

That’s something. 

“Fabian?” I called in such a small voice that even I didn’t recognize it. I didn’t want to startle him. 

I was glad to see him actually lifting his head towards me. My heart ached greatly when his glistening eyes met mine. I immediately grabbed him in a hug and he buried his face in my neck. 

“I didn’t notice, Paris. I swear if I saw what that Dick was doing, I would’ve helped that girl,” he mumbled in my neck. I nodded in understanding. 

“I know. It’s okay. It wasn’t your fault.”

“It sorta was.” Though his voice was so soft, I could hear the sternness in his statement, showing that he believed that it was his fault with all his heart. 

Mine ached even more as I chewed on my lip. What do I say now? How do I convince him that it was not his fault when he obviously believes that it is? 

With a deep breath of determination, I slowly eased his head from my neck so that we were face to face. He looked uneasy again, so I rubbed small circles on his hand in hopes that it would make him feel better. Luckily, it did. 

It was a subconscious act of comfort that Colton used to do to me whenever my anxiety  got the best of me. Sometimes I wouldn’t even realize that he’s doing it. I just felt better almost instantly. And it seemed to have worked perfectly with Fabian. 

“Tell me about that day,” I urged in a small voice. 

Seeming reluctant, Fabian bit on his bottom lip so hard that I saw a hint of blood, but I knew he was going to tell me. 

 “That was the day my mom had her first…” he trailed after his voice dropped a notch, but I knew exactly what he meant. 

After what I saw last night, I knew that he meant completely. 

I held onto his free hand with mine and gave it a gentle squeeze in hopes to soothe his nerves. I forced a smile also, even though it was the last thing I wanted to do. I wanted to hold him and cry my eyes out. I now know  why he didn’t notice what was happening that day. 

Imagine being fifteen and seeing your mom—the woman who you love with all your heart—break right in front of you. 

Hell, I would’ve walked through a burning building and not notice!