Out of My Control [bxb]

Chapter 46

I cry the entire way to Grayson's house.

I had caught Peter right before eighth period and asked him if I could take his car and return it after getting my things from Grayson's. He wouldn't stop asking me what was wrong, and if Grayson and I broke up, and "what the hell happened, Reid?"

I held my burning emotions at bay while as he questioned me and I just shook my head. I couldn't speak; my throat was clogged up.

When I finally was able to get something past my teeth, I told him, "I'll tell you later. I just need to leave." And I wasted no time walking out of that stupid fucking school once Peter gave me his car key.

And now I'm sobbing in the front seat of my younger brother's car. Hands shaking on the steering wheel. My bottom lip trembling as I choke out sobs.

Fuck, I love him. I love Grayson so fucking much. I've never felt this much pain in my life. Not even when my parents kicked me out. That was a different kind of pain. The pain I feel for Grayson is a soul shattering type of pain. Like a part of me was ripped out of my chest.

I don't know what Grayson did after I left that basement bathroom, but his car isn't at his driveway- which I'm grateful for- as I pull in.

I take in a shaky breath and turn the car off before going inside the house. It's still and dark inside. Up in his bedroom, I pack all of my belongings and when everything's in my duffel bag, I drop it on the ground. I sit on the edge of his bed, covering my face with my hands and cry.

The break up is for the best, I know that, but fuck, it hurts. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts.

I look up from my hands and take a few deep breaths. Picking up my duffle bag, I turn to the bed and- with a shaking hand- place the house key on Grayson's bed.

I lock the front door from the inside before closing it behind me and I drive back to my home. Thank God I don't see my parents cars in the driveway. But, the door's already unlocked when I walk inside, so I know someone's here.

Someone being Peter. He stands up from the couch. I drop my duffle bag. He's hugging me, and I cry once more. "We broke up," I tell him all choked up again.

"What happened?" He asks as we pull apart. So I explain all the events leading up to the end of mine and Grayson's relationship. "Shit," is all my brother says at first. We're sitting on the couch now.

I'm not crying anymore and all I respond with is "yeah."

"I'm sorry, dude."

I shrug, not looking at him while I pick lint off my joggers.

"You've been through a lot this year. Maybe this is good," I think this is my brother trying to comfort me. "You two don't need to be together right now and that's okay. You'll be in college soon and meet way better people. I mean, better than the shitty people at our school. Not better than Grayson." Petter shakes his head looking like he fucked up, "I mean, maybe someone better than Grayson. Definitely."

"I don't want someone better," I say sadly with a frown. I look up at my brother.

"Uh, I'm not good at this," he rubs the back of his neck and I laugh.