Out of My Control [bxb]

Chapter 41

"Are you feeling okay?"

"What? Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" I responded too quickly to Grayson and my tone is the opposite of okay. I clear my throat and try again, "I mean, I just... didn't sleep too well last night," I explain, but the reason for my insomnia is something I don't want to tell Grayson about.

I don't know what's giving me more anxiety; not telling my boyfriend another boy kissed me or the fact that said boy is my best friend.

I wish I wasn't standing in the hallway of Austberg High School right now. I want to be laying under the covers of Grayson's comforter.

"Yeah, I noticed. You were tossing and turning all night," Grayson tells me. He's leaning against lockers while I sift through mine. But I'm praying my locker will swallow me whole.

I look at Grayson, "Sorry, did I keep you up?"

He shrugs, "Not really. What's on your mind?"

"Nothing," I lie again to him and I feel like vomiting. "I don't know, I just feel anxious." At least that's the truth.

"Have you ever thought about taking something for your anxiety?"

"Eh, I've talked to my parents about it. They're not believers in medicine like that. Said I'd 'become addicted and turn to harder drugs',"

Grayson rolls his eyes, "you're kidding."

I chuckle, "I wish I was."

"Well," Grayson looks me up and down from my Vans, to my ripped jeans, to my Riot Society t-shirt, and then to my face. This action doesn't make me blush as much (key words: as much). But when he smirks and says "I can find a few ways that would be stress relieving for you," and winks, I can feel my face heat up.

"Shut up," I push his shoulder. "You give me more stress," I tease with my eyes rolling, but I'm smiling.

I shut my locker, the faded 'faggot' still haunting the metal, and I spot Preston. He's walking in my direction with Alex, but they aren't looking this way. "Let's go to class early," I tell Grayson, grabbing his hand and turning the corner.

"Why so in a rush?" He questions, but let's me lead the way nonetheless.

My voice in nonchalant as I speak. "We should study for the quiz today." There is a quiz today, so this is a reasonable excuse not to meet up with our friends.

One might think I am avoiding Preston and my problems, but I assure you, I am not.

We enter our psychology classroom and spot Marisa and Jess.

"Hey," Marisa waves us over. Grayson and I sit in our seats and the girls turn around to face us. "We were just talking about spring break!" Marisa tells us excitedly.

"Spring break's not for a month." Grayson points out.

"Duh," says Jess. "That's why we have to start planing early."

"Wait, are you going to California for spring break?" Marisa asks my boyfriend, looking worried.

Sometimes I'm still shocked her and Jess are together. Marisa's always been flirty with people, but I guess Jess doesn't mind. (Jess once said, "She's just the flirty type. At the end of the day, she's loving me and only me").