Out of My Control [bxb]

Chapter 36

Grayson and I decided to stay in this weekend instead of going out like we had planned before everything that happened the past couple days. I slept almost my entire Saturday away. I was prepared to do the same on Sunday, but when Grayson realized I wasn't following him out of bed this morning, he said, "Nope! Nuh-uh. You're only allowed to be depressed for one day. Now come downstairs with me and let me make breakfast for you."

He spoke in a joking manner, and I knew if I really felt the need to have one more day laying in bed, he'd let me. But Grayson was right, I needed to get out of bed and face another day of reality.

And the reality was that we needed to find out who took those photos. And then find out what phone they have, cause damn were those pictures clear and I need an upgrade.

So, after breakfast- yummy chocolate chip pancakes- Grayson and I decided it was time to do some investigating and bring in some reinforcements. That being, Alex, Marisa, and Jessica.

I'm not too sure what they can help with, but the company will be nice.

Marisa and Jessica texted me saying they'd be over in a half hour and Grayson left to pick up Alex who couldn't borrow his mom's car today. So for the time being, it's just me alone in the Clarke's house.

This is until the doorbell rings. I get off the couch, bracing myself for what I'm sure I'm about to receive is a big hug from Marisa and Jessica. But when I open Grayson's front door, it's the last person I expected to find. "Preston... what are you doing here?"

Preston looks awful. He has dark bags under his eyes. His hands are frigidity, his hair looks as though a bird could take shelter upon it.
"Is, uh..." Preston looks behind me as if searching for someone. "are you um-"

"I'm alone," I help him out, still shock that he's willingly standing in Grayson's doorway. He nods but doesn't speak further. "Uh, how did you know I was here?"

"Alex told me you were here. Can I come in?" His eyes are desperate.

"Uh, y-yeah sure," I take a step back and open the door wider.

Preston walks into the living room and anxiously paces.

"Uh... are you okay?" I ask as I hesitantly step closer to him after shutting the front door. I'm so confused right now.

He sighs, "fuck it," he mutters before wrapping his arms around me, hugging me.

To say I'm stunned is an understatement. Nonetheless, I hug him back, tightly as if scared that if I let go, he'll leave.

"I'm sorry," he whispers into the crook of my neck and I feel my eyes burning with the need to cry.

"Me too," I tell him.

Preston pulls back, shaking his head, "no. I'm the one who's apologizing. I'm a shit friend and a shittier person."

"No, you're not."

"I shouldn't have called you a faggot." Now he looks like he's about to cry.

"Preston-"

"Let me finish. It's been only four days and everything that's happened between us still replays on a loop in my head and I can't fucking sleep knowing my best friend probably thinks I hate him. I don't, Reid. I could never hate you. If anything I hate myself for the way I treated you and if I could take back calling you a faggot, I would. Cause you have to know that you're not and I don't think you are.

"I was just so fucking hurt and felt betrayed knowing that my best friend didn't feel the need in telling me about his sexuality and who he was dating. I thought we both trusted each other enough to tell each other everything. And then when I found out about you and Grayson, I flipped. But Reid, I don't give a shit about your sexuality and I'm sorry if I ever came off like I would care about it. I love you Reid, and not having you around sucks. It really fucking sucks. And I just-"