Out of My Control [bxb]

Chapter 45

"I really don't think it's a good idea to go see him."

I keep my mouth shut and have to bite my tongue before I say something like, he won't listen to you, Becky, cause he's a stupid dumbass and I just want to shake him!

But I'm not gonna say that at the table. Grayson's mom had woken us up early so we could have breakfast together before school. And apparently also so she could scold her son... not that I'm complaining.

"Ugh, mom," Grayson groans and I didn't miss the sharp look he sent me when his mother spoke. "It's fine. I'm fine. Honestly, will you both let it go?"

"I didn't say anything," I defend myself.

"You did with your eyes," he's glaring at me, but I just blow him a kiss.

"Sweetheart," his mother starts, "we're just worried that this isn't a good idea and I don't want you getting... the way you were again in California."

By 'the way you were again' I believe Becky means, Grayson being depressed and suicidal.

Grayson's hard eyes eases, "I'm sorry." he's apologizing for what Ms. Clarke had to watch her son go through. But Becky and I both know that won't stop him from talking to Logan.

I place mine and Grayson's empty plate in the sink (Becky is still eating). "We should get to school," I suggest because now I feel guilty for this ambush breakfast and don't want to discuss any of this anymore.

Grayson stands up and kisses his mom on the top of her head. "I'll be okay," I hear him tell her while I make my way towards the front door.

The ride to school isn't awkward, but it's not how it usually is; Grayson being flirtatious with me. It's been silent, so I speak up. "I'm sorry I told your mom about Logan being here. I was just upset and spoke impulsively."

Grayson sighs the tells me, "I'm sorry too." We've been apologizing a lot to each other lately. "I know this whole situation is uncomfortable for you."

And we both don't speak for the rest of the drive.

*

School was better- us holding hands and basically pretending the last 24 hours didn't happen. But my mind keeps bringing up potential conversations Grayson and Logan will have.

Like Logan confessing his love for my boyfriend and him saying 'I love you' back to him. Ugh. I still don't see a purpose in talking to his ex one more time. What will that accomplish? Fucking nothing.

But there's no changing Grayson's mind, so we don't speak on the matter throughout the school day.

By the end of sixth period, I go to find Grayson so we can walk to our film class together. He's usually at Alex's locker, but I don't find him anywhere and Alex tells me he also hasn't seen him since lunch.

The one minute bell rings so I head to class thinking he'll meet me there.

Half way there and I receive a text from Marisa

Marisa
Today 1:56 PM

Marisa: I'm so sorry Reid!!
It just slipped out and I
didn't see Gray coming
up behind me!