The Spawn of FrostIron

Tears: Part Two

Anselma ran straight into Loki and landed in Thor's arms. "I'm sorry." She whispered while wiping her eyes hastily and stumbling away from the blonde. Loki frowned at her wet eyes. "What troubles you daughter of Stark?" He asked in concern. Anselma shrugged. "Nothing you need to worry about." She said while walking around him. Refusing to be deterred the brothers followed her up to the roof. She sighed in exasperation when she turned from pacing and saw them.

"Is there anything we can do to assist you Iron offspring?" Thor asked his voice surprisingly soft. She gave him a watery smile. Shaking her head she took a shuddering breath. "No Thor." She whispered. "Only one person can fix this." The brothers watched in concern as she moved to the edge and slowly sat. Cautiously they moved to sit next to her. "Do you not fear falling from such height?" Loki asked. Anselma leaned against him and shrugged. "I have a feeling one of you would catch me." She said softly. "Aye," Thor rumbled quietly. "We would."

For hours they sat in silence watching as the sun set slowly. Anselma jumped slightly when the roof door clicked open. Soft footsteps headed towards them.
"Can I speak to Anselma alone for a minute?" Thor stood and towered over Clint. Loki helped Anselma to her feet and shifted as if to hide her from sight. Clint refused to budge. "Sure." Anselma murmured.

It was clear the Asgardians didn't want to leave but respected Anselma's decision. Once they were gone Clint avoided looking anywhere near Anselma. She just looked to the stars winking down at them. "I-" Clint started before stopping. "I know saying sorry isn't going to change what I did." He swallowed thickly. "But I am sorry, Elm. So very sorry." Finally he looked to her to see her watching him. "Why?" She said. "What?"

"Why," She repeated.  "Did you get angry at me?" Clint tensed. "It's hard to explain." Anselma crossed her arms. "It's hard for my brother to attack me the moment I see he actually is alive." She shot back. He flinched slightly and took a step back. Anselma noticed that he avoided putting a lot of weight on his left leg. Ignoring that she took a step forward. Clint grimaced. "Fine." He said.

"I was captured." Anselma frowned. "They wanted information on S.H.I.E.L.D. I refused to answer. They tried to..." She moved to stand next to him when he hesitated. Clint relaxed slightly as her fingers brushed his. She guided him until they were both sitting against the wall beside the door. Clint stared at the moon and chewed his lip. "They tried to change my mind. They tortured me Elm." Anselma flinched at that. Taking a deep breath she fought the tears she felt filling her eyes. "They used these chemicals to-" He cut off, running a hand down his face, taking deep breaths. Anselma watched his adams apple move as he gulped in air, trying to stay calm. "To make me hallucinate. I saw things..." He fell silent. They sat in the quiet for a long moment. "I saw all of you. All of you dead. Or dying." He choked back a sob. "I saw you. You died in my arms. And I couldn't save any of you."

He stood suddenly and began pacing, gripping his hair in his fists. "I was forced to relive my worst memories. To see my worst fears. And I was too weak to do anything." He said, voice growing louder the longer he talked. "And then, out of nowhere, Tasha was there. At first I thought I was still seeing things..." Turning on his heel he strode to the edge of the roof. Anselma scrambled to her feet and rushed after him. He stopped and just stared down into the darkness that led to the ground. "Clint," She whispered. Spinning, Clint grabbed Anselma's face between his hands and pulled their foreheads together. "But she brought me home. And I saw you." He pulled her tightly into his arms. Anselma's crying slowed as Clint's heartbeat thudded softly under her ear.

"I was so happy when I saw you." He said in low voice. "But then you said I was okay and I just... I lost it." Clint pulled back to look at Anselma's face. "Because-" His voice cracked. Her heart broke when she saw a tear slide down his cheek. With gentle fingers she wiped it away. Clint closed his eyes tightly causing several more tears to fall. Pain clouded Anselma's face. "I got so angry." Anselma shushed him. "It's okay. I understand." Clint shook his head violently. "No!" He roared while pushing her away. She stumbled but caught herself. Clint crumpled in on himself, sobs wracking his body. "You don't understand." He sobbed. Anselma cried with him and dropped next to him. Gently pulling him into her arms she hummed quietly. Clint slowly relaxed listening to the tune of his favorite song. His sobs quieted. Anselma never let him go. All the while he kept repeating the same thing over and over. "I'm not okay. I'm not okay. I'm not okay."

And Anselma finally understood.