Star By Star

thirteen

"Giselle?"

My hand flies immediately to my mouth stifling a scream, throw my slip-ons away and run to hug my happy virus.

I bury my face deep into her neck, that sweet lavender scent she loves stayed with her all this time. I take a good look at her and pat her soft delicate cheek making sure she is complete as a whole.

"Granny" I grin at her, imitating the exact nose scrunch as her at the same time. 

She chuckles

"Hi, my beautiful little swan." She taps my nose lightly.

My smile fades away slowly as I scan the room, which makes me think it is depressing the soul out of Granny.
It was dull and windows were shut, during broad daylight.
The IV in her arm seemed to be pinching hard at her skin. Her face seemed very...delicate and weak than last time I saw her. 

I bite my lips, preventing the sadness from engulfing me again but shake my head.

Not in front of Granny.

"Giselle. I'm okay " She smiles motioning for me to come closer back again.

I look away swallowing the ball of sadness.

"Of course, you are. You are a strong woman!" I make a superhero fist and punch the air dusting the sadness away making her laugh.

I quickly open the curtains letting the bright sunshine come in and actual dust away the bugs.

The room looks so. Dull. But at last, the lighting and sun makes the difference.

I sit beside Granny and offer her favorite snacks.

She shakes her head.

"I'm just happy to see that my Granddaughter is doing well."

I smile widely even though my heart is aching. As smiley as she is, I can't help but have a strange nudgy feeling that this wasn't simply an accident. As far in age as she is, Granny is a meticulous and tidy lady who never fails at anything. Mistakes happen rarely and she is sure of it. The woman doesn't just trip over mere air (unlike me) which makes me wonder "What is happening?" I have to know what happened for her to be found in such haggard state.

"Granny. Damian told me he found you. How ...did you fall??" I carefully tuck her in the blanket like a fragile baby.

"I'm fine it was just...an accident. You know. As we grow older, we lose our balance often times." She giggles focusing on many invisible things on the floor.

I side glance Granny momentarily.

Her fine wrinkles crinkling subtly by the second as I catch a hint of nervousness in her glace. What is it...this uneasiness in my heart? I shake my head lightly dissolving the dizzying spell of overthinking.

"I promise to be careful. But Gisi are you taking care of yourself..." I pick at my nails as if they were the most interesting thing in the world. Granny's voice fades at the distance, my mind trying to avoid the nagging for her sake. 

 "I've only been here 2 days and you look very pale-"

"WAIT. Did you say 2 days??" My eyes widened at that thought and flashback to regain notion of time but it's impossible. 2 days?

I cross my arms. To me it felt like an hour??

Granny sighs as if she knew it all.

"Gisi the boys told me. It's okay to show weakness. Please don't try to hold it all in by yourself? It's okay to feel weak." She holds my hands and pats it. "And I'm sorry for putting you through so much trouble my Gisi."

I look up in awe, she never was any trouble to me. How could she? 

"Granny. I passed out from shock but I'm perfectly fine. I promise you" I weakly smile at her.

"As long as you are okay, I'm okay."

Even though we both know the real underlying truth we so want to deeply bury, knowing we are both holding each other now safe, and sound is all that matters. My heart feels nothing but warmth with my sweet mother standing smiling in front of me.

As hours pass by quickly, we make sure Granny takes her meds, and as if  a standing statue-like bodyguard monitor her. We chit chat for what feels like an eternity and laugh about almost anything.

The sun starts setting down and soon after the bright moon finds its way high up in the sky.

"Well, Gisi. I need you to go back okay.? "

I hesitate and start arguing but Granny stops me.

"Oho. Don't defy me! I want you to go back to the shop and help the boys! They've been working nonstop. I will be fine don't worry."

"Granny the shop isn't important right now. I want to stay here." I start arranging the sofa and pillows to start my argument until Granny's deep voice startles me.

"Giselle."

I glance at her for just a second, but her face seemed rather serious, so I put the stuff back and stand beside her.

"Know that.... I won't last forever. " She pauses, and fixes her legs so that they dangle from the bed before facing me. 

"You know how to cook.
And clean.
And wash my clothes.
And even do my tax papers!"

She chuckles.

"You are a very smart and independent young lady.... you don't need my help anymore."

Tiny ant-like sensations crawl up my hands and clamor them and soon after my stomach feels... sick.

"W-hy are you telling me this?"

"I'm just telling you to not worry. I want you to enjoy your youth years and not spend the whole day taking care of this sickly woman! One day you will have to fly your own way, Giselle. I won't always be by your side. Okay? I Just want my precious granddaughter to find happiness."

I hold her hand and nod. Smile widely to hide my ambiguous emotions. I don't know why but leaving Granny here worries me especially with all these tough words she tells me.

It hurts hearing those words from her... they are rare in my world, in my dictionary. I know she is just trying to make the most and best for me. Probably from the mini scare she had herself
But... it frightens me...

"Okay. I promise to be back early tomorrow morning."

Granny nods and slips a paper in my hand.

"I know you will come back tomorrow but in case anything happens, if you need anything call this person. She is the only person I trust and entrust you with." Once again, I look alarmed at the piece of paper she gave me then back at her, but she changes her expression to a soft smiley one.

I take a deep breath and nod reassuring myself that she just over worries for my safety.

"Okay. Now you promise me to sleep and get plenty of rest! Okay?" I frown both hands-on hips as she laughs whole heartedly.

"Okay okay. Now go on."

I walk back to her and kiss her goodnight.

As soon as I reach the door, she calls me again.

"Giselle"

I turn to see her Crescent smile fading away.

"I love you my Gisi."

I smile and wave " I love you too Granny! I'll be back!"

I close the door behind me and all I see in my mind is a grim look on Granny's face.