Don't Hold Back(BoyXBoy)

Chapter 14

Lacrosse tryouts seem to rush forward speedily and the rest of my classes fade by just as fast. I try to think back to the classes and the only things I can remember are the things that had to do with Caleb.

How wrong is that?

The hallways are flooded with students when the loud bell rings for the completion of the school day, and kids push each other in the hallways to get out of the building. The nerdy kids run with their books clutched to their chests through the crowds, attempting-in failure-to get through the crowd of tightly packed bodies. The artsy kids exit the theater room, talking loudly about what play they should do for the school, avidly waving their hands about in the air in extreme dramatics. The lacrosse jocks shove each other as they run enthusiastically down the hallway shouting profanities. The druggies just sit on the railing in the school watching those who walk by with an intense focus that makes most people extremely uncomfortable, especially the girls in the school I’ve heard more than a few complain that they don’t want to be eye raped when they walk down the hall. The emo –Goth kids sit on the floor next to the main doors, and they just talk quietly amongst themselves, some of them openly make out, with their girlfriends, or boyfriends?

My eyes halt on a thin blonde boy who is straddling a tall muscular boy’s waist, their lips are connected in a heated dance of lust, the bigger boys hands rub up the smaller boys back and the smaller boy grins against his mouth. Suddenly the bigger boys’ eyes flash open and they find mine, the emerald green eyes glare at me not breaking eye contact. As if he is daring me to say something homophobic, I don’t speak I just stare at him as well. Without breaking eye contact with me, he breaks the kiss with his boyfriend and begins to nip at the boys’ earlobe dragging his teeth on the skin underneath. The smaller boy starts to rock his hips, and the bigger boy grins as he stares up at me then squeezes his boyfriends’ ass. The smaller boy lets out a gasp, which causes me to blush-not from attraction, just from the situation- and look away quickly turning down the nearest hallway.

How can they do that in the middle of the hallway? Are they not afraid that someone will say something? Then again, the people in my school don’t really seem to care very much about the gay kids. Does that mean they wouldn’t care if I was gay? My school isn’t exactly a super religious school, in fact the whole town isn’t, and so how many people would really care?

Suddenly I find myself admiring the two boys, man they have balls, literally and figuratively. Will I ever be able to live so openly? Without Caleb there’s no point, Caleb was the first and only guy I’m attracted to. Could he possibly ever want to be with me is the question, I’m pretty sure he hated my guts when we first met; then again, I pretty much hated him as well.

Half way to the boys’ locker room I stop walking in my tracks, realizing that I left my lacrosse bag in Caleb’s locker. Of course, I forget the most important thing! Quickly I turn around and head back the way I came towards the locker.

When I get into view I see Caleb standing there with Sadie, they look like they are having an intense conversation, what it’s about I would love to know, but Sadie sees me and stops there conversation with a wide smile and a friendly wave. “Hey Jason, what’s up?” The dark haired girl asks enthusiastically.

“Nothing, I just came to get my bag.” Shoving my hands into my pockets I look down at Caleb, and he blushes and looks away stepping towards his locker and slipping in the combo. Curiously I look at Sadie, who is gazing at Caleb with adoration, like he is some sort of puppy. The look makes my heart sting with jealousy which is weird because I know that they would never work out but still it makes me angry, and I nudge her with my elbow. The poke makes her look up at me, and she grins happily.