Sorry | Murphamy AU | vol.1

7. Irrationality killed the cat

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Bellamy P.o.v.

I pull Murphy out of the bathroom, where I try to get a good look at him. If he gets any more tense, he'll most likely explode. 

I stop and I turn him so that he's facing me. 

"Murphy," he's overwhelmed he averts my gaze, glaring to the other end of the hallway.  "Murphy," I speak a bit louder and he's still doesn't look, or pay any attention to me. He meets my stare for about half a second before trying to bolt back into the bathroom. I lunge for him, grabbing his hand. I don't know too much about him, but he did tell me that he hates it when people grab him, but he never said anything about holding his hand.

"Hey!" I use a stricter tone, finally grabbing his attention, but he glares at me, trying to remove his hand from mine. 

"Bellamy, please," he asks, looking away and I shake my head.

"Mbege's not worth it-"

"But he is, he is so worth it." he snaps the statement, pupils dilated, filling his irises. I try to look for something, but I don't know what to find, or what I'm even looking for. I know very little about him, and right now, I barely recognize the guy in front of me. Was this what he was talking about? Is this what he means by 'fucked up'? 

I feel like I'm approaching a wild animal. If he were making a sound right now, I'm pretty sure he'd be growling, but I push aside the petty notion, grabbing his other hand and pulling him into another hug. 

What? I like hugging him. 

Murphy P.o.v.

I'm going to lose it and burn this shit-building to the ground. Footsteps cause Bellamy to pull away. I see Mbege, leaning against a locker with an accomplished smirk, masking his nefarious face. Is he not tired? I see his bloody nose and bruised jaw. I clench my own fist, not wanting to do anything too irrational. For once. 

"You know, I knew there was something up with you two, I just didn't want to believe it." he pouts sarcastically, walking up to us with crossed arms. He sighs. "I can understand you," he gestures to me and I raise an eyebrow. "But Bellamy, why didn't you tell me you were a fag?" he asks, sounding hurt. I roll my eyes and so does Bellamy. The word is thrown around so much here that being called it lost it's zing. Mbege starts chuckling a bit, then shakes his head almost as if he's thought up something funny-

"Is that why Daddy left Mommy? Did he find out his little boy was a fairy?" he's kidding me right? He knows my dad died. Everyone does- well, those of us who went to elementary together know. He was in my fucking class when I was pulled out and told. He's pathetic at insults, but clearly they work on me, because my words leave my mouth faster than my mind processes them. 

"I'm going to kill him." I state through my teeth, only loud enough for Bellamy to hear. 

"Good fucking luck," okay, so I guess Mbege heard. He wants me to try? I'll fucking succeed. I lunge for Mbege, but Bellamy grabs my arms. I hate it when people grab me. I hate it. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. I try fighting his grasp and I hate to admit it, but he is stronger than me. I turn my attention to him, trying to fight Bellamy instead, but Mbege walks away laughing victoriously and Bellamy drags me outside against my will.

This is a fucking mess.

***

The uncomfortable silence is becoming more than unbearable and what's worse, is that I can feel Bellamy's disappointment. 

"I'm sorry, okay? Is that what you want to hear!?" I ask, it coming out a little bit ruder than I would have liked it to have, but who cares? he grabbed me when I told him that I hated it. He just sighs. 

"No, don't be sorry," he mumbles. 

"Bellamy, I'm the bad guy. I-I'm chaotic and dangerous and I-"

"I love you," he cuts me off, I forget what I was going to say. He looks at me with a serious face, mine probably just looking hopeless. It always looks hopeless, I wouldn't be surprised. "And," he continues, "So what if you're chaotic?" he asks with a light shrug, taking my hand, lacing his fingers in mine. He lets out an audible sigh. "What's wrong with a little chaos?" 

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