Sorry | Murphamy AU | vol.1

Ch.38 - You'll Celebrate It

3RD PERSON POV

A silence falls over the gym at the sound of the wall breaking. None of the students can see what has happened, but they know that the noise came from behind the bleachers. Behind it, Murphy, who is now anything but calm, pulls his fist out, studying the broken knuckles and dropping it to his side, not noticing the pain. He spins around trying to find an exit that doesn't involve walking through the gym, but he's out of luck.

In order to leave, he'd have to pass the court filled with his peers. In order to not break down, he'd have to do just that. He is left with two options. He could either stand there until someone came and got him, or leave. The boy, takes a deep breath which, right now, is the hardest thing to do, and clenches everything he can. Jaw, knuckles, stomach, and walks out. He can feel the wondered stares being sent from his class mates as he walks through the gym, staring the exit sign.

Bellamy P.o.v.

I assume that Murphy decides to skip gym today. I would have to, but the teacher had already seen me. We were playing badminton when we hear a loud noise coming from the bleachers. Everything is quite for a few seconds. We hear a bit of rummaging before Murphy steps out from behind, fist bloody, and walking do the door. There are a few scattered whispers, and I understand that Murphy had caused the noise.

I would have ran after him, but I couldn't for two reasons. One, he looked angrier than I'd ever seen before, and I knew that if me or anyone got in his way, he'd explode with fury, and two, when I try to, my teacher stops me. "Everyone go get changed and go home." he shouts. There are only five minutes left of class anyways. I see him leave, probably to principal Jaha, and I hear some people talk about how happy they are to be dismissed early.

Murphy P.o.v.

You've already ruined you're life. Why did you have to ruin his? The voice inside me questions, as I walk quickly down the street. "Shut up." I growl to myself. Even if he wanted to, he can't break up with you. You live in his house. he chants to me and I wince. "He, loves me." I mumble, repeating that to myself. You know, you keep telling yourself, that you're not weak, and that your strong, but you're not. I gulp, and start to run, sprinting to my destination. You ALWAYS go crying to Bellamy about your problems. You can't even handle a simple panic attack. He's sick of trying to help a lost cause. I don't feel anything but trapped, as I run into the forest where we'd killed Mbege. We both know where this is going to end. he points out and I ram my fist into a tree, trying to feel something. Anything. "There is no we!" I shout, knowing there's no one who can hear me. Admit it. He's sick of you. He's been sick of you for months. If he had the choice, he would have left you back at camp to rot in your sedated state. The ONLY reason he made that speech was so that he wouldn't have to explain to his parents why you didn't come home. He talks in such a poisoned tongue. "He gave me a ring." I mutter, looking at it. He gave it to you, out of PITY! he shouts at me, and I would have killed him, but I can't kill the voice inside my head. "No... He didn't." I say, trying to calm my angered self down. Maybe if I calm down, he'll calm down, but it's useless. Do you know that he's only doing this because he feels bad for what he did to you in elementary. HE'S TRYING TO MAKE UP FOR WHAT HE DID. He doesn't love you.

Bellamy P.o.v.

I left all my shit at school, and try to find Murphy. The first thing I do is check outside, then I run home as fast as I can. "Is Murphy here?" I ask my mother in a panic and she shakes her head. "Is everything alright?" she asks and I gulp. "I don't know." I say, leaving the house. I stop at the end of my path way, and look in both directions, trying to think like Murphy. "Where would I go?" I mutter and I squeeze my eyes shut, opening them when I get an idea. He must be in the forest. It's the only private place in this area. I dash to the woods, "Shut up!" I hear and I spin in the other direction, following the sound of Murphy's voice. I hear more talking, but it's quiet. If Jake is there, I won't hesitate to kill him. I stop at a tree, a good 15 feet from Murphy. "No I'm not! It's not my fault I got sick and he didn't have money." he argues and I try to see who he's talking to, but there's no one. His fist looks even worse. He winces, "He stole it! That's not my," he takes his good fist to the tree, "fault!" he shouts, and I see the skin bleed when he removes it. I place a hand over my mouth. What the hell is going on? "That's not my fault either. She fucked up!" he yells throwing his hands in the air. There's a second of pure silence. "Don't. They offered! And Bellamy seemed happy!" he shouts, breaking the silence and my ears ring at the sound of my name. He runs his hands through his hair. "We made up!" he shouts, now sounding more frustrated than angry. "Yes he had a fucking choice! He said sorry!" I furrow my brow, really wanting to hear the other side of the converstation. "I forgave him. People make mistakes. It wasn't his fault that Clarke kissed him!" he shouts, his voice now hoarse. "Fuck you!" he shouts, then placing and hand over his mouth, and he just stands there, in the middle of the circle of trees, sobbing. "He loves me. He tells me everyday." he chokes out, and I feel tears build in my eyes. "I know he's sick of it! but I can't help it!" he cries out. I've never seen him in this much pain before. "I'm trying to get better but it's hard! He's helping me." he says, a lot quieter this time. "I know he's sick of fixing me! Shut up!" I wanted to run and take him in my arms, but I can't. Something is stopping me and I don't know what it is. I needed to wait for the right moment. "I'm not weak!" he shouts, choking on his words. "You're killing me!" he shouts, tears drip like leaky faucet.

He walks over to the tree nearest to him. And hits his head lightly again and again on the bark, muttering "shut up." every time he'd pull away. I notice he starts getting more violent, and I understand what he's trying to do now, so I make the decision to leave my hiding spot.

He's trying to quiet the person he was talking with, and with the strength he had, he could cause some serious damage. I rip him away from the tree, not really caring if I'm being delicate or not. He jumps when he sees me, and shoves me off of him, holding out his arm and I furrow my eyebrow. "Don't. You pity me." he spits. "What the fuck! No I don't!" I shout at him. He and whoever was talking to him, needed to get that. "You feel sorry for me. You don't love me." he states it as if it's a fact, and it breaks my heart. "You're only with me because I live in your house. If I didn't we wouldn't be together." he tells and I look at him with anger. "I'm only with you because you live in my house?" I ask, pissed off. "Who the are you to tell me that I, don't love you?" I look at him and he doesn't change emotion. "You only care because you have to!" he sobs and I look at him, desperate for him to understand. He had this implanted in his mind that I didn't care about him. "I ruined your lifeBellamy! Don't try to deny it." he commands and I shake my head vigourously. "I am going to deny it, because it's not true!" I yell at him, "When I told you I was toxic, I wasn't lying! I'm fucked!" he spits, pointing to his head. "So am I!" yell at him and he scoffs, "No. I'm the bad kind of fucked." he scoffs, crouching down and sorting through some of the leaves. "What are you doing?" I croak, not caring that I'm crying. "Making your life a whole lot easier." he says, and gets back up with a sharp rock in his hand. "Don't fucking do it. Don't even think about it." I hiss at him as he backs away, pulling it up to his throat. "Murphy I swear to fucking god, if you do this, it'll kill me." I say through my tears. "No it won't. It fucking won't. You're going to go home, announce the good news, then celebrate." He speaks with so much certainty. I look around, unable to formulate the right words. He isn't thinking properly, and I know that this isn't him. "Please..." I plea, taking a step closer, and he holds out his free arm, pointing at me to stay away and he presses the weapon to his neck. I back up quickly,

and he opens his mouth to speak, when a twig snaps. Both of us turn around to see Jake, standing 5 feet away.

I never thought I'd say this, but I am glad that Jake reviled himself when he did, because he'd surprised Murphy, who'd then lowered the rock from his throat. I don't waste a second. I lunge towards him and grab it out of his hands, and throwing it as far as I can. He shoves me with great power, angry. "Why the fuck did you do that?!" He shouts and quite loudly, might I add. "Because I won't fucking let you. I promised you, and Octavia that I would never let anything bad to you. Not if I can help it!" I yell at him and when we hear footsteps we turn to see Jake casually walking towards us. "Bellamy, I'd stop if I were you. Murphy doesn't love you anymore."

Don't kill me, I'm sorry :') Guys it's Friday, and tomorrow I'm publishing the first part of my new Murphamy fanfic! I hope you guys like this, if you do, vote, and yeah!

Love you lots!Xx