Sorry | Murphamy AU | vol.1

10. Berlin, 1848

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Song: Kings

Artist: Tribe Society

I always wonder how far we could go, if we could break through the ceiling above us there'd be no point of us looking below...

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Murphy P.O.V.

My alarm is the sound of Ray and Mom fighting. I don't stall leaving my bed. In fact, for the first time, I hurry when getting ready for school. I get downstairs, sighing when I see them.

"Look who's actually going to school." I roll my eyes at Mom's comment.

"Of course I am, I wouldn't want to turn out like you now would I?" I ask, darting out of my house, not wanting to be around for Ray's reaction to my comment. He's gotten so overprotective recently.

The weather is getting better and better and I hate it. It's warming up and that makes me depressed. I wish it were November. My walk to school sucks.

***

I collapse in my seat for history, being early for the class. So early, that I'm the first one here. I slouch, crossing my arms and closing my eyes. I wonder how Bellamy's first weekend with his parents went. I bet it went well. After helping him bring his stuff back last Sunday, it was clear they didn't care about me in the best possible way. I think they support us.

I took another week of school. I wish the school cared about my absence. I wish my mom forced me to go. Someone kisses cheek and my eyes open back up. I see Bellamy drop his books on the desk right next to me before taking a seat. I force myself to smile a bit.

"Hey," he greets and I use his shoulder to rest my head.

"Hm," I hum as a bland greeting.

"It's boring without you," he says and I lift my head, looking at him, nodding.

"I know, I'd miss me too," I say and he laughs, playfully slapping my chest. "But no, I don't like waking up alone." I mumble kind of quietly because it's cheesy and I don't do cheesy. I can feel my cheeks burn. He sighs, sliding down in his chair.

"I've been meaning to talk to you about something." he states and everything in me stops. He knows I have anxiety- I mean I haven't full on stated it, but I think it's pretty clear. Why the fuck would he tell me something like that? He opens his mouth to talk, but the bell rings and the class floods with people. "I'll tell you later." he says and I give him a blank stare.

I stare out the window. The sky is so blue that I just want to cry. I want to go home, close all my blinds and go to sleep-

"John?" I snap out of it, staring at my teacher.

"Yeah?" a few snickers sound. I roll my eyes at them.

"In which city did German liberals gather in an attempt to establish a united, democratic Germany in 1848?" my eyebrows knit together. I know shit about Germany, I only know that it's capital is Berlin, so I guess-

"Berlin?" I can feel the class staring at me. Bellamy looks impressed.

"That's right, Berlin-" I tune out the rest.

***

Bellamy drags me outside against my will. I don't want to talk. I don't really even want to hear what he has to say.