YOU FIRST🌹:1

Debut

I move back to the hostel. I tell Myra, Ivan and I are done. She doesn't believe a word I'm saying. "You guys will make up. It's Ivan Roy. He can't live without you."

"I think he can, this time. I chose my career over him. I didn't put him first." I smile at her, trying to convince her that I am okay.

"I don't want you two to break up."

"We have." I get off the bed and stretch out my arms. "Let's focus on the debut."

"You should call him."

"Myra! He left me last night without a fucking word. Do you seriously think he wants to see my call?" She nods her head. "I love Ivan. I really do, but I also want this. He's the only guy I've been this close to. More like my first love. I miss him even when he's with me. He's all I think of ever since I set eyes on him, that has to change, Myra. I can't keep putting him first before my needs. Yes, I need him, but there's a reality check here. Someone has to wake up. Do you understand?"

"Uh-huh," she smiles. "I'm glad you still love him. You two will get back together after a few bangs. I am betting on that." She giggles.

I dedicate this week to building myself and living my best life while working hard on my debut song. Day one; Lily calls me into her office and I am nervous about what she'd say to me. I take a seat on the chair before her desk. She takes off her eyeglass and sighs.

"How are you doing, Kara?"

"I'm doing good." I smile.

"You know you can talk to me, right?"

"Yeah," I shift uncomfortably in the chair.

"Tell me what is going on with you. You've been distracted today." Honestly, I keep thinking of what Ivan said. It hurts when I think of how we used to be and how this had to end. I look strong on the outside but I am broken inside, shedding tears whenever I'm alone. I thought I had this figured out.

I really want this, so why does it still feel meaningless?

"I've just been nervous." I partially lie.