YOU FIRST🌹:1

Take Care

Ivan furiously throws the phone on the bed and grumbles. "Can you get the fuck out?" He says without looking at me. Seeing how angry he is, I walk out of the room and close the door. I wait by the door and hear him grunting. I close my eyes; hearing him wail the following second breaks me down. I have never heard him cry this much before. I honestly thought Ivan handled his emotions differently.

I didn't expect him to break down. Initially, I did think he had no feelings. Now I know I was wrong to think that way.

I walk back to the hall, pick up my phone and foolishly dial Finn's number. I don't want to believe he's gone. The last thing I wished for him was for him to die. I did not mean that. I shouldn't have wished that for him. I know he hurt me physically and emotionally, but he still didn't deserve that.

Sean calls me on phone and I answer. "Kara," he says and I brush a tear off. "Is everything okay?"

"No," I sniff. "I'm not fine, Sean," I admit and start crying.

"I noticed. Why didn't you tell me? Things wouldn't have gone this far."

"I didn't know what to do and now Ivan knows what happened between us. I think he's going to break up with me; I'm not ready to deal with that, Sean." I cry, wiping tears out of my eyes. I am in the worst situation. If Ivan lets me go in a time like this, I don't think I'd be able to deal with it.

"Did you tell him?"

"I accidentally did. I thought it was you when he came to the hotel." I feel my chest burning with guilt, finding it hard to breathe.

"I tried to call you, but your phone was off. I was going to warn you."

I breathe through my mouth, rubbing on my chest as I talk to him. "How do I fix this?"

"You can't, Kara. We all can't." Sean admits and my tears poor out even more. "My dad will probably fix this issue with the media for now. Call me if you need anything."

"Okay, thank you." I end the call and sit down on the couch. I put the phone beside me and wipe off tears. I try gathering my thoughts, while keeping my composure, but it is not working. I get up from the couch and hurry to the bedroom. I step inside and Ivan isn't there. I'm sure he's in the other room, cursing at me.

I quickly change my clothes. I reach for my handbag, car key and step out of the room. I want to let him know I'm hanging out with Myra. I walk closer to the door and hear him, still wailing like a broken kid. I cannot talk to him in this condition. He has to be calm before we can have a conversation. If not, we will scream at each other and that may not end well.

I send Myra a text, letting her know I'm coming over. I get out of the house and get into the car. It hits me one more time; Finn is gone. I still can't believe it.

I drive off to Lily's house and Myra welcomes me at the door with a long hug. I calm myself in her arms and take in a deep breath. This was very much needed.