YOU FIRST🌹:1

Two?

I have my phone turned off to prevent me from calling Ivan. Myra is holding my hands at the hospital's reception. My eyes are closed, head leaning back on the chair. We came in here this morning to have a professional test made and we've been waiting on the results. I am sobbing inside, at the bad decision I have to make, if this is really true.

I'm scared for my life and scared I might ruin everything I've been working hard for. If I choose to have this baby, I'd have to quit working with the record label; they wouldn't want to have a teenager with a kid on their team. Either ways, I'm still ruined.

Not telling Ivan and going ahead with this will haunt me for days. I'm not sure I can live with more guilt.

Myra taps on my hand and I open my eyes. The lady doctor walks up to us with a file, beaming. Is this good news or bad news? "Kara," she calls.. "Congratulations, you're a month pregnant." She states.

"Oh no," I mumble. She hands the file to Myra.

"Thank you." Myra smiles at her and she walks away. "Hey,"

"It is over for me, Myra."

"I support whatever decision you make, you're the one who's going to go through this, but I still think Ivan has to know."

"A month pregnant, Myra. Sean and I had sex a month ago. If I'm going to tell Ivan, Sean has to know too. I don't even know whose child this is."

"I understand. Let's go home and think about it." She holds my hand and we walk out of the hospital. We pick a cab to the hostel and when we arrive, I see Ivan's car parked there. Is this a sign to talk to him? Myra looks at me and I sigh.

We head inside, walking towards the hallway. I wonder what he's doing back here. I miss him every day, missing his warm smile and his lips. I let him go to pursue my dream and now, I am caught up in a mess, not knowing what to do next. What if I talk to him and he tells me he wants me to keep it? What if he feels like I am going to ruin his life too?

I get to his door and stop right there. Myra goes ahead into our room and I stand by Ivan's door. I attempt to knock on his door and stop myself.

"Babe," I whisper. Why am I so scared? "I'm sorry," I mumble.

I walk away from the door and go back to my room. Myra has V's sweet night playing from her Bluetooth speaker. "I couldn't talk to him. Let's do this tomorrow." I confidently say to her.

"Are you sure? He's just a few steps away, Kara."

"This is not his decision to make."

"This could be his baby, so yeah, he has the right to know." Myra angrily says. "You know what, do what makes you happy. It is your decision like you said."

"I know." I take off my clothes, put on a T-shirt and lie down on the bed.

The song is still playing, reminding me of the day we met. I think of the journey we've had so far; the heart-wrenching moments and how this had to end because of my life decisions. I'm here again, making another life-threatening decision and it brings me to tears. I cover myself with the duvet and shed uncontrollable tears.