MY BOSS & HER ASSISTANT | NATASHA X READER X WANDA

Tainted Hearts & Old Memories

Y/N POV-

Seven days have passed since I left the office, I've left my bed maybe a handful of times, to do nothing more than go to the bathroom or collect take-out from the front door.

Day after day I put off talking to either of them; I shut out the world with awful romance movies and junk food.

Each time I think about making my choice I can't help but think it would be easier to take Carols job offer and leave them both behind but the idea that I'll never hear Wanda's laugh again or feel Natasha's heartbeat inside her chest against my hand sends unimaginable pain through my veins.

I had everything and I lost it all and all for what? A game I won. Was it truly worth it? Not so long ago I'd called Natasha selfish and bitter, and I may have even called her heartless, but I couldn't have been more wrong.

You cannot break the heart of someone who is heartless and there is no denying that I ripped her heart to shreds.

Wanda held me tight, she made me feel safe and she never asked for much, all she ever wanted was me and I couldn't even give her that.

Tears fall with the memories of Wanda's smile. She wore her heart on her sleeve and never failed to reassure me of just how much she wanted me.

Natasha caged hers away terrified to give me even the slightest glimpse of her fragile heart and still, in the end, she offered it to me with open arms and what did I do? I dropped it in front of her face as if it'd meant nothing to me.

The story of how I lost more than I ever deserved to have to begin with is a tragic tale, yes but the morals are clear. Not every game is worth winning not when it means you lose everything you already have and no matter how fast a lie is the truth will always catch up to you.

It's time I spoke to them both, stop putting off the inevitable, and get it over with. I drag myself out of my bed to the bathroom for a much-needed shower. The hot water doing nothing to soothe my already dizzy panicking state. Even now, just a matter of hours before I make my choice I still tell myself I don't know who I want.

Sometimes all you can do to get through the hard times is fake it till you make it, that's what people say anyway. The entire concept sounds like it wouldn't work, but if you really think about it, you're just lying to yourself until you eventually start to believe your own lie.

The issues come when all you do is lie to yourself, you tell yourself you don't have feelings for a person or that you don't want that job and that everything will be okay when it most definitely will not be okay which only leads you to ignore your problems and let your lies pile up and one day you'll look at the pile of lies and watch it crumble to the ground.

I'm tired of lying, lying to Wanda, lying to Natasha but worse of all lying to myself.

I do know who I want, I'm just too afraid to tell them incase they don't want me after what I've said and done. When I think of her eyes sparkling under the moon light, her soft hands on my skin and her voice, god I could listen to her talk all day, I know she's the one that I want.

I've always wanted her.

I won't show up looking my best with an award-winning smile because there's no use, the lies and the facades are futile, they're tiering. If there's even the slimest chance that my honestly would be enough for her to give me some form of chance, It's worth it.

I look at the clock before I leave the house, It's late but I figure she'll be at the office, hopefully.

On my way to the office I stop by a supermarket picking up their last bouquet of roses before the store closes. I go over my speach in my head making sure I'm prepared to say everything that needs to be said.