The Kiss

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She jerks away quickly, so harshly that she falls on her butt on the floor. But not before our lips met and for just a fraction of a moment, I felt her kiss me too. My chest feels tight with anxiety, but the good kind of anxiety, like when your crush talks to you for the first time.

My heart feels like it could rip right out of my chest from how hard it's beating.

"Sorry," I mutter.

"No I'm sorry," she quickly stands up.

I do too and move to go to my room.

"No, wait," she grabs my arm.

I turn to face her.

"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, but we shouldn't do that. Things... things are already confusing between us as it is. I just... we shouldn't."

I grab her face and I kiss her again.

I can feel it when her breath gets caught in her throat. She's hesitant at first but then she kisses me back full force, passionately, wrapping her arms tightly around me. And god does it feel good to be touched like that, to kiss someone again, to be loved.

I push her back against the couch and she has to steady herself, in doing so the tv turns on because she accidentally pressed against the remote.

I ignore it at first until I hear,

"Melony if you're out there right now."

I pull back to look, she does the same.

"Don't ever stop fighting, we will find you. We will never stop looking. The pandemic won't stop us." Lesly says.

Dakota quickly turns it off.

I try to kiss her again but she pulls away.

"It's okay," I say.

She pulls all the way away from me.

"Dakota," I try.

"We can't." she turns away from me.

"Well, why not?"

"We can't!" she shouts.

I flinch.

"Who's going to know!?" I challenge.

She grabs me by my arms and roughly drags me upstairs to my room.

"Dakota stop! No! Dakota!"

She shoves me inside.

"No!" I bang on the door as she slams it in my face.

I hear the lock latch into place.

"Dakota!" I cry.

"We can't," she whispers.

"Dakota! Don't leave me in here! I'm sorry! Dakota! Don't leave me! You know I get lonely. Dakota come back!" I beg.

But I know she's already gone.

I slide down the door and sob.

"Coward!" I bang on the door.

I hear her turn the music up louder so she can drown me out. I pull my knees to my chest and cry.

I'm shaking.

I know it's wrong of me, but I want that girl so badly I'm shaking. I want her to touch me. I want her to kiss me. I want her to hold me. I want her so bad it hurts. And having had a taste of it, but not being able to get it all feels like the worst punishment anyone could put upon me.

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