The other woman

Azerbaijan

It was now Friday night in Azerbaijan and it was Alex's third night in her hotel room on her own. Her third night of not sleeping.

It was odd because she'd slept fine at Seb's Swiss home and it wasn't like she was staying in a separate hotel to him, he was only two floors up, so he was still in the same building but she just couldn't make herself drop off to sleep no matter how hard she tried.

Like the previous nights she tossed and turned, threw the duvet off and then pulled it back over her again, swapped the pillows around and laid there with one leg out, then both, then none. As she had in her house in Switzerland, she was even trying to sleep with the lights on - just in case. When she did get comfortable her mind would spark into life and tap her on the shoulder, demanding a long chat.

Nothing was off limits in the endless list of subjects that her brain was wanting to go through. From what happened in to Monaco, to unpleasant memories of her parents, her miscarriages and anything in between - her mind was whirring constantly. It was like lots of little voices in her head. She could hear herself yelling at her parents, screaming for mercy as Soren kicked her in the stomach while she laid on the floor and crying in a hospital bed because she knew she'd lost her baby. Her head was full of could-haves and should-haves and then it went to Seb. His presence had become something of a comfort blanket for her, he was her safety net since she'd told him about Soren and she was starting to become dependent on him and that, for her, was quite unsettling. She well remembered being dependent on Soren, during the good days (and despite the hell he'd put her through there had been some) she'd not wanted for anything. He'd taken care of everything - the bills, the groceries, the chores (they'd had a cleaner for a while), the money. He'd bought all her clothes, shoes and lingerie for her, ensuring that her wardrobe was packed with everything in the latest colours and styles and that her drawers were filled with the finest designer lingerie. She'd always had expensive designer bags from Chanel and Louis Vuitton and he'd even bought all her makeup and perfume for her. Looking back she could see that really, it was his way of controlling her. Soren had controlled what she'd worn, how she'd looked and even how she'd smelled. He'd been in charge of every aspect of her life until she'd become completely dependent on him. Seb was different, she could already tell that. While Gisela was very much a typical, kept F1 WAG, she earned her own money and was very much in charge of her own life and Seb doted on her. Far from showing his affection with the material things, he'd show his love in other ways (excluding the times she'd hear them fuck); little touches, the way he'd look at her, smile at her, hold her and kiss her on her forehead. And with Alex herself, he'd been kind, caring and compassionate, he was a good listener and had encouraged and succeeded in making her open up to him. He'd become a friend since she'd been staying at his home and was a huge source of comfort and support. She really felt like he had her back, like she could depend on him. And then there were the moments they'd shared; she knew that Seb was attracted to her and she was to him too. His touch would make her body heat up and yearn for more, she'd sense the electricity between them when their hands would innocently brush against each other's as they walked or even when she was working on him and she was certain that he could feel it too. Sometimes the chemistry would be there if they simply looked at each other. She would see the desire burning in his eyes that he probably thought he was hiding and knew he was having thoughts that a married man like him shouldn't be having. He was curious about her and rather bizarrely, she felt as though he'd become even more curious and attracted to her since she'd told him what she'd been through. He was starting to behave differently around her, he was more protective, more tactile and attentive to her. It felt almost like their roles had been reversed, he was taking care of her when she was meant to be taking care of him. Laying here all alone, she was suddenly forced to face her feelings for him. She wasn't used to feeling like this. As she sat up and began to really examine how she felt about him, she realised that she'd never felt like this, not even in during the good times with Soren or during her relationship with Karl. She wasn't sure if it was love but what she did know was that thinking of Seb made her feel warm inside, it made her heart beat that bit faster and butterflies erupt in her stomach. The more time she was spending with him, the more time she wanted to spend with him and when he wasn't with her she found herself thinking about him more and more.