prologue rolex ooo somebody is rich rich 💅 hmm watcha doing with the watch divya chavan wonder what changed in three months madhav nandini i wonder who's that okay looking forward to some adventure, friendship and more
chapter 1 nandini is her friend aw simran divya girl go clubbing pls 💃 she is pissed off poor simran doesn't get her name capitalized oh never mind there's a lot of sentences with no capital letters rishi, atharv, natasha, kavya there's too many characters madhav khandelwal *smirks* okay then meaningless convo
just some things i picked up: -small numbers from 1-10 should generally be spelled out -the paragraphs can be smaller -and a lot of editing is needed such as commas, full stops, capital letters, as well as typos – i saw DIvya like that
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↑ that is one sentence
it's hard for me to ignore these errors, so it was hard for me to enjoy the story. i understand writers have first drafts but a quick grammar checking app like grammarly could fix a few mistakes. even before you start proofreading, which i'm sure the author didn't do.
so let's have a look at these two paragraphs:
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red is errors, the blue is sentences that doesn't make sense and yellow is to suggest using another word.
"Divya, isn't that Madhav?" Natasha asked. Her eyes widened with astonishment and a hint of amusement.
i have no idea what you are trying to say in that blue paragraph. but after did, the verb is always present tense (did she know) even if you are writing past tense.
"ooh yes, who is he, is he from our course....but then I have never seen him." -> i honestly have no idea who said that so maybe say something along the lines of "Oh yes," recalled Natasha. (or Simran or Divya) "Who is he? Is he from our course? I have never seen him before."
Simran took the water bottle again and gulped another couple of sips, which Divya heard and let out a chuckle.
i don't get the "it could only be these two idiots" part
Simran attend college regularly, yet hardly knew anyone and Natasha rarely came to class, but she knew most of the people and gossip.
