character introduction personally, i don't like character introductions or aesthetics, i want to use my imagination and the writing to form the characters this feels like info dumping
chapter 1 1947
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this feels more like a script for a screenplay rather than a paragraph from a novel, if that makes sense.
you lost me here
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silvery sweatpants? um aren't they just gray "yes, without talking!" excuse me, is that like a regular saying? i am very confused rn and feeling very stupid "replied he will be there soon..." that's not a proper sentence you should try and stick to one tense i really want to edit some of these sentences so badly "william saw the entire crime scene rushed from there with a lifeless man"
jack is good at his job that's for sure idk all these cop terms but kudos to you for knowing okay def getting interesting with the shadowy figure
i'm just going to be brutally honest. you have a potentially great storyline here but i don't know how i feel about the execution. it feels like some parts were google translated or some words were replaced using thesaurus. that's the best way i can try and explain what i mean, because several of the sentences didn't make any sense to me. i don't mean to come off rude or insulting, just trying to be helpful.
