YMBLTY

Chapter 1: You're Engaged!

"I gotcha… got you an arraigned… arranged a marriage fer'ya!"

The drunkard on the phone slurred and stuttered over his words.

"Arranged a what?" Gu Wei rubbed his eyes, trying to shake off the shroud of sleepiness cloaking his mind. According to his brightly lit cell phone screen, it was only half past four in the morning.

The caller on the other end of the line chuckled. He was obviously blitzed as he continued, still slurring, "M'shun… my son! I just arranged a marriage for you! With the perfect partner. You're sho… so blessed. You've used up eight lifetimes of luck just now."

Gu Wei pulled open the curtains and squinted out into the pitch black night. Based on what he was hearing, he suspected he must have accumulated tons of bad karma in those eight lifetimes.

Maybe he had been a thief and an adulterer in one of those past lives. Maybe even a murderer.

Nothing good was ever arranged at this ghastly time of night.

"Dad… tell me the truth. How much have you had to drink?"

At half past four, when not even the birds were awake, Gu Wei seriously wasn't in the mood to talk to his ridiculously drunk father about some arranged marriage that seemed to have been conjured out of thin air.

Gu Wei's father, Gu Cai, was a screenwriter. Whenever he worked on a screenplay, he fell so crazily deep into his work that it was like the outside world didn't exist to him. He must have finished his latest project and suddenly remembered he had a son.

"Not much, not much," Gu Cai babbled. "Just two bottles of the good stuff and a bit of beer. Shun—son! Your papa is so happy to finally find someone to take care of you. My colleague, see, she's got a son who's just like you. Her boy doesn't like girls either."

"Dad, sober up a bit." Gu Wei plucked at the flowers in a vase on his nightstand. "Your son is a celebrity. An internet phenomenon. An influencer. Do you know what that means? If I get into a relationship, my career is over."

He was the lead dancer in the wildly popular boy band T.ATW, a minor celebrity in his own right with a decent amount of fans—though plenty of those were anti-fans.

His whole career circled around his fans. To disappoint them by dating around, that was as bad as…

Killing his career. Killing his parents.

He told his dad, if he had to get married, it would be the same as killing himself.

"All your fans are anti-fans," his dad countered dismissively. "Your career is already over."

"Anti-fans are still fans! It's not my fault I'm not likeable." Gu Wei had a very clear image of himself, and he knew exactly where he stood in the public's eyes. "Anyway, what rando did you get me engaged to?"

Gu Wei had a pretty strong suspicion that this supposed fiancé of his didn't actually exist.

"I think it was… something-Xun." Gu Cai was obviously too drunk to remember the details. "Sounds like he doesn't really have a proper job. His mom says he just plays video games all day, but she swears he's a good person."

Gu Wei rolled his eyes. His dad may as well have said, He drinks and smokes and perms his hair, but he's not a bad person.

The logic of a drunkard was truly astounding.

"Dad, seriously. Call it off now," Gu Wei demanded. "Stars like me can't get married. It's so not part of my image."

"Just add him on WeChat and talk to him! A beautiful romance is coming your way!"