through the sand, for you. (gaara x reader)

chapter eleven

"Miss y/n, are you going to be ok?"

"Yes, I will be. Thank you so much for your time."

"That is ok. I will book our next appointment for the time we set."

Walking out of the hospital I can feel myself slowly coming undone. It has been a tiring week and my emotions are getting on top of me, everything is just piling up. It has been four days since I was put in charge of taking care of the ballroom, and I have been getting up early and going to bed late. I have only taken breaks to eat, shower and sleep. And now I have just been reminded that my body is broken and that it will never go back to how it used to be. I will never be able to achieve my dreams. I am stuck. It is also coming to the anniversary of my parent's death.

I feel the tears starting to sting my eyes.

I just want someone to hold me and tell me it'll all be ok.

I can't go back to the house because Temari or Kankuro might be there. I love them so much but I can't deal with questions now. And I do not want to see Gaara but I do at the same time.

I made my way to a park and slid myself down a tree. Gaara hasn't said a single word to me these past three days. I think I overstepped with that last conversation we had. And that makes everything worse.

I have never once had a guy or a girl that has plagued my mind as much as he does. No one has ever made me feel like this. Through work, we have gotten closer and I think it was by accident, we now know little things about each other. He knows what I like for lunch and to get me the same drink, and I know where he likes his food from.

I find myself just looking at him, I find myself thinking about what it would be like to just be his friend and even more. God, I am getting emotional.

But now he is just flat out ignoring me, not saying a single thing. He doesn't even say anything to me at dinner. He doesn't even look at me. I feel like we are children all over again. Rejection.

God, I am pathetic. He is a boy, just a boy. Kazekage or not he is a boy. I was the strongest ninja and I am the hottest person in the sand and here I am getting upset over a boy. What's worse is that I am getting jealous over a crusty Princess.

~ flashback to yesterday ~

"Cleannnninnngggggggggg!" I sing.

"Stop laughing dumbass! You are making my ears bleed." Temari throws a spoon at me.

"DON'T YOU DARE THROW A SPOON AT ME BITCH!" I catch the spoon.

Temari and I are cleaning the kitchen after breakfast. Everyone has a day off except for me. I could have taken the day off but I am behind on too much work. Everyone is going to go get outfits for the ball. I have just left Temari in charge of getting my dress, she knows my size and she knows I want an (f/c) dress, I already have shoes so I should be ok.

"You ladies ready? It's time to head out to get us all outfits." Kankuro asks, walking down the stairs with Gaara and Luna following.

"I am! I am so excited." Luna clings close onto Gaara's arm. I raise an eyebrow at Luna. She is getting on my nerves.

"Are you ready Temari?" Gaara chimes in.

"Yea, just give me five minutes," Temari turns to me, "Are you sure you can't come? I really wanted like a family day."

I give a light chuckle at Temari's pouting whilst rinsing off a spoon. Temari went on about last night wanting to spend the day together as a "family" with all four of us, she completely ignored the princess. The Princess seems to be getting on everyone's nerves with her attitude. I don't know if she is taking the piss out of our bet, or if she actually thinks of me as family.

"Sorry Tee, I have too much work. I have to make sure the ballroom is perfect and all setup." I say giving Temari a small apologetic smile.

"Fine. I am going to run upstairs and change and then we can be on our way. y/n we are walking you to the ballroom so you be ready as well." she continues.

I continue to clean up the kitchen and I can hear the boys and Luna take a seat at the dining table and have a casual conversation. Luna and Kankuro do most of the talking, whilst Gaara says something here and there, though the princess is also sitting there and staring at Gaara. Reaching over and grabbing his thigh, ew desperate much Princess. I can feel my chest tighten as Gaara gives the Princess a small smile.

I watch as Gaara puts his hand over Luna's which makes her go completely red.

"Ok, I am ready! Let's go." Temari announces.

We are all outside walking towards the ballroom. Gaara and Luna are grabbing stares from everyone as we walk through the town. As they are holding hands, Luna is flushed up against Gaara's side.

I look away from them. I won't let it affect me or at least I won't show that it affects me. Well, I'll try. Hiding my emotions when I haven't slept doesn't really work.

Temari grabs my hand and gives it a squeeze. She doesn't say anything. I am glad because I do not know how I am feeling, but I feel as soon as someone asks... yes I'll break down.

~ end flashback ~

I think that's when it started. When I slowly unravelled, as well as the pushed back emotions from the fight.

I bring my knees to my chest, trying to calm myself down but before I could even control it I let out a sob. I see children run around in the park with their parents and wish I could go back in time. Give my parents a hug one more time.

I have healed and their death doesn't affect me as much as they used to, but sometimes I do miss them. They were the ones that I ever let hug me. I hate physical affection, my mum was the same. She told me one day I would meet someone who I feel comfortable around, someone who I will want to hug every time I see them. I barely even hug Temari, I think I hug Kankuro more.

Mum used to explain it as an electric touch. And she taught me to believe in soulmates and all that cheesy stuff. Though I have never dated anyone because I don't feel like wasting my time with someone. But right now I really feel like wasting my time to get a certain redhead out of my head.

Though the weather is hot and humid right now, I am feeling cold. I want a hug.

"y/n?"

I snap out of my thoughts and lookup.

Please god no. not right now. I don't want him to see my tear-stained face.

"What." I try to pull myself together.

"Are you ok?"

Really, that's what he asks. I let out a shaky sob.

All of a sudden I am pressed up against someone's chest.

"Why are you here Gaara?"