The British Prince

37 | Not him

CHAPTER THIRTY SEVEN

~ He was never even officially mine, but losing him broke my heart ~

~~~~~

Samantha

My anxiety had flared up, worse than before and it was like having a panic attack I couldn't stop. I had never felt so alone. Nicolas had yelled, so loud it made me terrified, so loud it make me flinch and run out. It didn't matter that I'd gone, because he had me sent home on a plane sooner than I could blink.

And I still had 20 hours on this flight before I could even see my family, my parents.

And even when I got home, my brother wouldn't be there. He was always the one to comfort me when things went wrong, yet now he wasn't around to do that and I'd have to pick up the pieces alone.

My eyes stung from crying, but that was nothing in comparison to the pain pushing against my heart. It had been an hour, barely any time for me to throw my things together at the palace and leave for good.

If only he had let me explain. Without the anger.

Yet he was so angry he tore out my heart and stamped on it, diminishing the chance for us with his words. It was a different side of him I certainly didn't like. He was so quick to assume the worst of me.

I promised I wouldn't let myself be treated like that by anyone, let anyone talk to me like that, but it happened. I just let him walk all over me, which I regret.

I thought, I really thought, that I had a chance. That I would marry a prince, move across the world and live a life I'd never before expected. I thought I had that chance, not because of who he was or his title, but because of what we shared.

I thought he might actually propose. I thought we would spend the rest of our lives together. I must have thought wrong. He send me away without a second to consider how it might ruin me.

I can't believe I fell in love with him.

And he broke my heart and sent me home. Just like that. As if it was all nothing.

That was the end. I was officially no longer in the selection and would go back to my life back home. No palace, no selected girls, no Nicolas.

Now I was driving myself insane. Crying. Fidgeting. Shaking. Somehow, I was still wishing I could wrap my arms around him and feel safe like I had grown to feel in his presence.

Why did it have to happen like this? Why did he have to show up at the wrong place at the wrong time? Why didn't he believe that I loved him?

Unless...

He never loved me at all. He wasn't going to pick me. This was just a convenient way to get rid of me. The thought of him not caring about me make me sick.

~~~~~

Nicolas

I woke up and I knew. I knew I had made the biggest fucking mistake of my life.

My sunshine was gone.

I didn't want this anymore. I wanted Samantha back here, in my arms. The others were nice, yes, but it was like a slap in the face waking up knowing she wasn't here anymore.

I had gone to bed yesterday feeling angry, feeling like I'd lost her, but I'd woken up feeling nothing but sadness and regret.

I'd made the wrong choice and I knew it. I didn't wait to hear her explain. Surely she had an explanation and I had just assumed. And I wanted it from her.