MAKE HIM SOFT

Chapter 00

#MakeHimSoft00

"Drei... Andrei." I kept calling his name as I follow him with fast steps. Masyado kasi siyang mabilis maglakad at kulang na lang ay tumakbo ako para abutan siya.

"Makinig ka naman sa akin," I pleaded. Thankfully, he stopped. He faced me with angered and frustrated look. I swallowed a lump in my throat as my eyes meet his dark eyes that felt like pinning through me. It's been so long since I see those kind of eyes and I hate seeing those. Parang sobrang sakit tignan.

"You lied to me, Santi! You lied and you still want me to listen?!" He shouted. Para akong nanghihina sa sigaw niya sa akin. Parang bumabalik yung takot ko noong una ko siyang nakilala. Pero kailangan kong magpakatatag. Ayoko nang bumalik siya sa kung ano siya noon—okay na siya sa kung ano siya ngayon.

He is breathing heavily. His hand run through his hair, out of frustration. He looked somewhere else and kept on balling the fist of his other hand.

"I didn't lie, Andrei. Ngayon ko lang din nalaman. Hindi ko talaga alam—"

He faced me with more anger. He took step forward and held my shirt tight and pushed me hard. Napaupo ako sa sahig pero hindi ko pinutol ang pagtingin ko sa kaniya. Naiiyak na rin ako pero kahit pigilan ko ay kusa pa ring bumabagsak yung mga luha ko. Hindi ko nagugustuhan 'tong nakikita ko.

"Fuck those 'I don't know' schemes! I already had enough of those! You lied to me, Santi, and I fucking hate you and your kind!"

Pakiramdam ko ay unti-unting nababasag ang puso ko sa mga sinasabi niya. Grabe naman siya makapagsalita. Well, ganoon naman talaga siya magsalita noon. Bakit hindi pa ako nasanay? Pero ang sakit talaga.

"Hirap ba talagang paniwalaan ako, Andrei?"

Wala na akong ibang masabi. Sa mga oras na ito, balewala na ang mga paliwanag ko. Kahit totoo pa ang sabihin ko, hindi na siya maniniwala.

"Yes." Kasi hirap siyang magtiwala kahit kanino.

Tinalikuran niya ako at humakbang palayo bago huminto. I could see the side of his face and it stings when he's crying. That precious tears that made me more heartbroken.

"I'm living with broken promises, Santi. As far as I wanted to trust you, there's always been things that made me doubt you."

I started to hear his footsteps getting away. Every step, a tear fall. Unti-unti na siyang lumalayo at pakiramdam ko ay unti-unti niya na rin akong kinakalimutan. Ang sakit lang. Kasi paunti-unti niya na ako iniiwanan at tinalikuran ako na parang wala na talaga.

I tried making him a good guy. I made him live a happy life. A life full of satisfaction and away from dangers. But he isn't a guy who loved those. He is chained with doubts and I couldn't get those off.

When I thought I could soften that hard heart of him, that was my mistake. Because after all, he still don't trust me.

I didn't made him soft. I made him more harder than what he is before.

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©notreallyawesome