Sky Fall [ReaderxGeneralHux&KyloRen]

(18) early hours

A weird thing started to happen with you once you settled in your new job. You started to panic. To have nightmares every night without exception. You started to fidget, every loud noise making your flinch.

You managed to hide it from Armitage so far. The two of you aren't able to spend the nights together since it would mean getting out of the same quarter in the morning. Sure, to provoke the Supreme Leader a little is one thing, but to openly be with your co-worker is another. You just cannot risk it.

So, here you are, the fifth night in a row tossing and turning. Whenever you manage to fall asleep, you wake up a few hours later, sweating. You had your bedsheets changed by droids twice. By now, you just put down towels before you go to bed. It's exhausting and really getting to you. Yesterday, during training, you attempted to dodge a punch by Phasma way too late, and she hit you across the face. You bit your lip and bled all over your jacket. You also have a nasty bruise right next to your left eye now. She immediately apologized, but you know that it was your fault.

When Armitage met you in the lunchroom reserved for the four of you – Ren, Phasma, Hux, and you – you were pressing a cold pack to the side of your head. This time, you got to say: "It's my blood."

He fixed you a cup of tea and sat down to ask: "What's going on with you?"

"I'm just exhausted."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

For some reason, you cannot bring yourself to tell him about your nightmares. He seems to be fine. You don't understand why you aren't. He was with you on the planet. He got almost killed by that animal as well, fought the rebels, slept on stone, and so on, as well. However, it's just you with dark circles under your eyes.

With a sigh, you roll to your side and look at the clock. It's early in the morning. You don't have to get up for another three hours. Pressing your face into the cushion, you groan loudly. Apparently, your mind decided that you're save enough now that it can process all the awful things you went through during and after the crash. What haunts you the most, are the sounds of the ship falling apart midair. The screeching of metal being bend mixed with the screams of the crew. You think a lot about how you were the last person to talk with the pilot. You forgot his name by now, not the noise he made when he died on impact though.

Cursing, you get up and wash your face in the bathroom. The white light is unforgiving, and you can see every single vein, no matter how small it is, that's been severed by Phasma's punch. They form a net across the side of your head with a purple blotch in the middle. Against better judgement, you palpate the spot. It shoots a dull pain through your skull. You curse again.

Your lip looks mildly better. There is a raw spot on the bottom left where you bit it. It burns and feels like it will start to bleed again any moment. Your body is sore as well. Not from the exercise of the last days, though, but from being so tense all the time. You're always so on edge.

You sigh. You liked it more when you were on edge of your orgasm while fucking Armitage. You saw each other so little in the last days, you barely got to touch him. Not that you would have had the energy anyways. Still, you're thankful that he squeezes your hand encouraging whenever you coincidently meet in hallways or on the bridge.

Sometimes, when you walk across the bridge to get to the hangar, you put your hand on the small of his back for just a moment. It always makes him loosen up a bit and give you a smile before he goes right back to barking at officers. One time when you did it, you noticed too late that Ren was entering the bridge as well. He didn't say anything but you're pretty sure that he saw it.

Speaking of Ren: luckily, you had barely anything to do with him. You even managed to avoid the daily meeting twice because you were swamped with tasks at the other side of the base and didn't have the time to fly over. When you're in the same room as him, you make a point not to look at him. Even when he's speaking. Of course, you listen and answer his questions. But not once have you looked into the black visor that always seems to be mocking you with its inhumane stillness. It makes your blood boil just to be in the same room with him. For some reason, he always manages to get on your nerves. And since you're so exhausted and barely able to see Armitage, you don't really have an outlet for the pent-up aggression. You tried to direct it at Phasma during training a few times, but she quickly threw it right back at you, always transforming the sessions into a clusterfuck of yelling, sweating, and bruising. Sure, training is supposed to be a little of that, but not to the extent it escalates to. The peak being yesterday when she knocked you out cold, leaving you with the injuries you are currently looking at.