note: dani, you're an amazing writer with a good story out there. i'm telling you this beforehand bc this review is empty of compliments to keep it short (already 2.5k words lol). it's going to be a sum of my thoughts and opinions that i hope will help you understand the reader's pov on your story better. in no way i'm trying to correct you forcefully. some points are a simple reminder for things to consider on your editing sweep. i read all 6 chapters you had, and i can't wait for more.
i'd like to shout-out RowanCarver too. saw some of her long comments on the book, which benefited me too as a writer! thank you for sharing!
i also have covid-19 while i write this, so excuse any mistakes.
✿ first impression: title, cover and description (12/15)
title: i personally don't prefer one-word titles, but it's not bad, and i think it fits the genre.
cover: gonna be honest and say i dislike it. the excessive purple is annoying. the two people on it have very similar skin tones, so it makes the photo look like a splash of ivory. but it does have all the necessary elements.
edit: you changed the cover, and i think the new one is better. i like it.
the description is the type i like! informative but doesn't spoil. teases about the inciting incident.
i gotta say tho,,, the paragraph where you described the love interest was a little cliché. purple eyes and white hair, nice. "He's beautiful and makes it hard to breathe" is where i think it's cliché, and dare i say, doesn't fit the context of someone who's gonna be terrified at the change of events. the last thing to notice would be his beauty.
✿ plot (15/20)
i gotta admit i've been intrigued about sci-fi recently. the description left me curious and wanting more, and i'm sure other devoted sci-fi readers will be even more thrilled to read!
+ i don't think human destruction is a new plot in this genre, but i'm not one to mind an overused plot written well. you do have your original elements too, so no issues.
+ the first chapter left me very intrigued, especially in the end when they opened the door. the discussions between the desperate people were interesting, alongside the way pearl reacted to them (or should i say, didn't react lol).
+ in chapters 2&3, i felt as if the pace was going too slow. the two chapters are very alike, starting with pearl waking up and trying to get answers from the stranger who didn't seem to care about her puzzlement. i'd suggest making her wake up once only, then she's already brought to the new world and vaccinated. even in c3, she sleeps and wakes up again, and i felt that was a little boring.
+ when pearl finally started getting answers, that's when i really started to enjoy the story. i loved it when he revealed his kind created humans from their DNA! it explained why he looked humane but not so humane as well.
+ i expected her to ask specific questions, but she didn't. why they saved her, where she was, and how she was saved (excuse me if she did ask and i forgot or misunderstood). especially where. only in the comments you told me she was in a spaceship but nth in the storyline implied that. besides, it's not apparent when they land.
in c6, she finally asks why she was there.
+ when he finally explained to her how everything happened, i kinda expected sth better than an info-dump conversation. it wasn't annoying or boring, but you could certainly improve it. take it as a chance to show more worldbuilding. maybe he could take her to a lab and show her all the species they make? or take her out in the city to get her familiar with her ancestors? anything to support the worldbuilding and make it more entertaining :)
YOU ARE READING
Anna's Reviews
Non-Fiction[ closed ] get a detailed review and in-depth analysis from a self-taught literature student. sometimes, i do special reviews while requesting is closed. it doesn't mean you can request too. but hey, maybe i'll take a special request from you if...
