A New Song [mxm]

20. Unknown (To You)

Alex sat in silence in the car, watching the city lights pass him by.  Jaxon was also quiet, not bothering with the radio, but would occasionally look over at Alex with worry.  Jaxon was at a loss and didn't know what to do.  He wasn't sure what affected Alex, but he had not seen him like this.  The last couple of days had been difficult for him.  He lost his chance at the Amateur Showcase, and then he ran into Eclipse bullying him.  But what would cause this sort of reaction?

They made it to the underground parking, but Jaxon had to call out to Alex a couple of times to break him from his stupor.  Alex followed him wordlessly into the building.  Jaxon had found his locker and taken Alex's things, but the key didn't have a room number.

In the elevator, Alex made no indication that he was going to press a floor.  Jaxon leaned down, so his face was next to Alex's face.  "Which apartment is yours?"

Alex jumped.  "Room? Oh... 802."

Jaxon nodded and pressed the 8th level.  More silence weighed on them, but it seemed like Jaxon was the only one affected.

He led Alex down the hall and opened open the apartment.  Jaxon looked around while Alex mindlessly walked in and moved to the couch. 

Jaxon sighed a little, went to the kitchen, and grabbed a cloth and some ice. He came back and carefully got Alex's attention.  "Let me see the damage."

Alex looked up and saw the ice.  He rolled up his sleeve, but Jaxon let out a sigh.  "I saw you run into the bar.  Let me see your side as well."

Alex bit his lip but complied.  He unbuttoned this shirt and took it off, exposing the upper half of his body.  Jaxon's eyes couldn't help but graze over it with his eyes.  Alex was muscular, toned, and sculpted, his body carved into an attractive triangle, accentuating his narrow waist.  But Jaxon frowned when he saw a bruise on his side.

"That looks really bad.  Are you sure you don't want to go to the hospital?" He asked.

Alex shook his head.  "A little ice will be fine."

Jaxon nodded and gingerly placed it on his bruises.  Alex shivered from the cold, and Jaxon smiled a little, but remained quiet.

Alex struggled with his own thoughts, the silence becoming daunting.  His mind echoed all of his old lyrics, the idealistic dreams of being with someone he loved unconditionally.  But was that true?  Was it really love he felt?  Or was it simply him latching to the thing that saved him from himself?  Remy so disillusioned him that he couldn't see the distance between them.  

Remy saved him from the streets and helped prune him into the perfect idol.  But he isolated him. He fed him lies about the world hating him for his mistakes.  He kept him silent.  And Preston complied willingly and like a puppet, continued to write the songs that were not relevant in his life.  The songs he wrote were falsehoods built by Remy to manipulate him.  He lived in blissful ignorance until he lost his lover, his dream, his music, and his life. 

That wasn't love.

And now, Preston's songs haunted him in this new life as Alex.  They were shackled to him and tethered him to his misery.  He saw behind the curtain and found that love songs were lies bleeding on a musical bar.

He leaned over, grabbed his notebook, and flipped open to a half-empty page.  He started to write down some words while Jaxon was still tending to his arm.  He would pause and tap the book with his pen pensively but then frowned a little.  

Jaxon looked over.  "I've never expected you to struggle writing a song before."

Alex sighed a little.  "I'm just... angry."