make you mine! ★ k. bokuto [completed]

ੈ♡˳ I CAN'T LOSE YOU!

"I MEAN, YEAH."

he confesses. "i thought i already told you this?"

"i know." you rub your neck, "i'm just thinking about some... stuff." you admit. "i feel like such an idiot for being so stupid all the time, but honestly, i just..." you laugh awkwardly. "i just mess around 'cus i don't like thinking about such serious things like feelings." you fold into yourself, growing smaller in his passenger seat. "people think i'm ditsy, clumsy." you shrug, "clueless."

"i just don't like looking into things." you confess. "if i'm having fun around someone, i'm allowed to want it so stay just that. if i like the way someone touches me," you whisper, "i can only like the way they touch me." you say, "looking into it deeper can... it can ruin a lot. your perspective on yourself, the people around you... i'd rather just enjoy the moment than tryna find some deeper meaning behind it, you know?"

bokuto hums, "that's true, though reading between the lines can sometimes be the best thing you can do, looking into a bouqet of flowers, someone saving you a seat, a smile from a stranger. little things, if you look into them, can be bigger than you'd ever know." the boy smiles, "and for what it's worth, i don't think you're stupid. or ditzy."

you deflate, "you're only saying that 'cus you love me."

"but i do love you," he says, "so much so that i think about you during every volleyball game i play, every morning i wake up, i see you in all things beautiful..." he focuses on the road ahead of him, lit only by the weak streetlights above and the moon's pale glow. "that's gotta count for something, right?"

in his peripheral vision, he sees you reach into the packet of lollies for a sour strap. you peel off a red stripe from the rainbow candy, tilt your head back and bite into it. he spares a glance at you, and eyes the sour sugar dusting your lips like glitter with a glint in his eyes akin to hunger.

i wonder what her lips taste like right now...

"you're right," you sigh, but am i allowed to read between the lines even when it comes to you? there's a small silence between you two before you start laughing at the weight of his words. you reach out and pinch his cheeks. "how is it you're so wise now, kou?" a teasing smile dances on your lips at his flustered reaction.

"hey!!" he swats your hand away, but there's a twinkle in his honeyed eyes and a cherry tint to his cheeks. "why are you always so mean to me?"

"can't help it," you ruffle his hair, wanting nothing more than throwing your arms around him and let his body melt into yours. he's adorable with those double jointed thumbs and how he shuffles his feet when he's shy, he's perfect with how he takes care of you and listens and lets you whisk him away anywhere with pink cheeks and curious eyes... and he's also your best friend.

but why, why, why is your heart beating so goddamn fast?

"you're just so cute sometimes that i wanna kiss you!"

bokuto's grip on the wheel falters.

you're just so cute sometimes that i wanna kiss you.

"you..." he trails off. "what?" the boy's words are barely a whisper. it takes everything in him to keep driving, when all he wants right now is to pull over and taste the, sweet, sour sugar on your lips.

"oh my god." you laugh, look away. you turn the music higher, and turn your gaze to the darkness outside the car, "sorry. that sounded weird, didn't it?" you chuckle. "don't read between the lines, i'm just... i'm kinda working through stuff in my head.'

"no, this isn't happening again." bokuto laughs wryly, resolve crumbling as he pulls over. the car comes to a stop when he shifts the gear, parking in front of a river besides the bridge the roads lead to. he turns to you, and you do everything but look at him.

he moves one of his hands towards you and you finally turn to him, confused, when he starts weaving your hair through his fingers. he brushes past the strands of messy hair and reaches for your earrings, absently fiddling with them between his fingers, knuckles grazing your neck.

"won't you tell me what's on your mind?" bokuto hums. his charming smile falters when he meets your eyes and with it, you see the worry hiding beneath his nonchalant facade. "please?"

"i'm so done for." you confess with a low laugh. "i'm falling for the one person i can't jeopardise my relationship with." bokuto watches you silently and you wearily run a hand down the side of your face, not daring to meet his eyes. "and i hate how i've been lying to myself — telling myself not to look into it, that he only treated me like that because we were so close, and that he already liked someone."

"i considered it, you know? i'm a teenage girl. of course the thought crossed my mind — does he treat me so well because i'm the girl he likes? but i'm too scared, because even if i can read between the lines and put that dreaded word on the feelings that he gives me, i don't know if i can convince my mind he feels the same. and even if i do, what if it's just that?" you whisper, "what if it's all me, reading too much into it, and ruining what we have?"

"i show up to all his games and even when he's not anywhere near the ball, my eyes are on him. we danced in the rain and all i could think about was how fast my heart was beating when he held me in his arms. whenever i sit near him, i start getting sleepy because his presence is so comforting and i... i can't."

you turn to him with glassy eyes and quivering lips, heart hammering in your throat when the words dance on your tongue. they taste like a burden: you think. and it's one you don't want to carry anymore.

"i don't want to lose you, bokuto."