Tormented

Chapter 12

"There are no sins that can hold you to change. There's one like you, who had murdered and tortured a thousand people."

"He is cruel, maybe just as cruel as you. He hates some kind of people. I don't know if he is jealous or what to this group, but he captures anyone who prays and following Jesus's ways. He doesn't hesitate to kill them with stone in front of villagers."

"You know the unique about Jesus's teaching, it's we can't hate others and pray for our enemies. We see our enemies as someone who is lost in the dark and doesn't know what to do to express their loneliness and in the end their fill the emptiness with hating and tormenting others. So we want the best for them, and hating them will not solve anything. Same as you and me, I want the best for you, and I want you to have your eternal happiness." She looks at him with a deep eye. Hopefully that he can get the message of why she wants to be at his side.

"So the people who are tormented by Saul, they're praying to God for Saul. I think it's more satisfying for them to know that Saul repents than he's tormented the way he tormented them."

"One day, after he asks the elder to permitted to capture more people, he got some accident. When he's on the carriage, suddenly there's light surrounding him. And then there's a voice, so loud, speaks with authority." She tells him excitedly.

"Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?" She says in a deep tone, tries to make the story more real. He feels amused with the way she storytelling, he feels like a small child listening to his mother.

"Saul asks, who is speaking? And the man answers him, I'm Jesus the one whom you have been persecuting. Saul gets tremble and astonished and then he asks. Lord, what would You have me do? And then Jesus answers go to the city and I'll tell you what to do next."

"Since then, Saul becomes blind, and God told him to go to one of His disciples to heal his eyes and learn Jesus teaching, and since then Saul changes his name to Paul and become a great apostle who spread Jesus teaching not only to Israel but around the world."

"So there's no reason someone can't learn God's teaching, after all, my God doesn't come to righteous people but sinners." She ends her speech with a hopeful eye that he understands and will open his heart to change.

He just holds his gaze at her. He understands truly that she wants him to change but deep down there's a doubt that he can change. He doesn't know if he really can get out of this illegal life and be a normal person. One thing he knows he is a ruthless person. He likes the thrill, dominance, and danger from this side of the world but on the other side, he wants to have a family of his own. Someone who can understand him and love him.

Does he really want to change? That's a big question in his mind. But one thing for sure, for now, he wants her. He will just wait and see if she really can make him change and leave this dark side of the world.

Her eyelids start to drop and a yawn forming in her mouth. Sleep starts to come to her, but her minds refuse to stop thinking. She keeps praying in her mind that her story somehow can crack his stone heart. She prays to her Father that He will soften his heart and make him want to open his heart to God.

"Sleep Bambina." He whispers and stroking her head, coaxing her to sleep.

He steps away from the bed when he makes sure she fell asleep. He standing on the balcony and sips his whiskey. All the conversation he had with her makes his mind keep thinking about another opportunity he has with her. He doesn't want to drag her to his world. But leaving all this behind it's not an option either. He will never really be free from this world. Once you enter you can't leave this world easily. One thing for sure he really can't leave this world, he will be targeted more easily by his enemies.

He leaves all his thought behind when he leaves his room. He can think all of the future after he finished with the Americans. After he calls his right-hand man to come to his office, he takes another of his whiskey and walks to his office.

"Parlami dell'americano!" He orders as he walks to his seat. His right-hand man and a view of men. (tell me about American)

"Hanno rubato il carico e manipolato la transazione. Abbiamo rintracciato il carico ed è stato nascosto in Russia." The right-hand man says. The room is silent, there is an overbearing aura come from Matteo. (they stole the cargo and manipulate the transaction. We have tracked the cargo and it's been hidden in Russia.)

"Riprenditi il carico! Non offendere il Bratva, non vogliamo iniziare una guerra." He speaks with a low voice that makes everybody in the room held their breath as he speaks the command. (Take back the cargo! Don't offend the Bratva, we don't want to start a war)

"Si Don Denaro." Answer the right-hand man. (Yes boss)

"E sarebbe meglio se catturassero la persona dietro a tutto questo. Mi prenderò cura dell'americano con me stesso." He says while glaring at the rest of his men. (And it would be better if they catch the person behind all this. I'll take care the American myself.)

"Si Don." They answer. (Yes boss)

The knocking sound on the door interrupts their meeting. Matteo doesn't expect anyone would dare to interrupt his meeting like this. He barked his permission. The person behind the door trembling with a scare in his heart but he doesn't allow it to be shown to others.

"Speak!" Matteo order.

"Sorry to interrupt boss, but the lady is screaming inside the room. There's no one inside but it seems she's scared. We- " The guard try to explain but even before he finished the boss already leaving.

Matteo knows this is bound to happen but he still doesn't like it that his girl is trembling because of the nightmare. He pissed at himself that he is the reason behind all of this. When he opened the door the sight of the trembling pitiful little girl can be seen. She looks so pale and her eyes are haunted. She looks like she just saw a ghost. She hugging her legs and curled herself in the bed. She mumbling some words that he can't hear.

"Bambina..." He speaks softly but there's no reaction from the girl.

He walks slowly towards the girl, scared to make her hysterical. He slowly sits on the bed. Her back trembles as she knows someone is behind her. He tries slowly to take her body into his. He hugs her and there's no reaction. She is still coped in her mind and doesn't realize the outside world. He can hear her repeated 'I'm wrong' and 'I'm sorry." He tries to wake her up from horrible dreams.

"Leora!" He demands lowly near her ears and that seems to work. The girl seems to come back to him. He is pleased that even in her unconscious mind she still reacts to his command the way he wanted.

"No! No!" She screams and walks away from his embrace. She became more hysterical when he approaches her.

He corners her into the wall. There is no escape for her. He ignores all her trashing and hugs her tightly in his embrace. She tries to hit him to escape. She doesn't like his touch. All she remembers is the hands that touch her it's the same hand that kills the man.

He holds her hand and her legs so she can't move it at all. He put her head in his neck and keep stroking her hair and back while whispering sweet nothing into her ears. He waits a couple of minutes for her to calm down. When she calms enough then he will talk to her. He will do in his might to calm her mind and bring back the cheerful girl that he captivates with.