Walking at the park with Shin is the best feeling at all, marvelously we've been walking for a minute. Side by side after we arrived with his motorbike.
I have a bad day today and it's literally one of the worst.
------
An hour earlier...
Staring at my calculus test paper makes me want to ripped it into a thousand pieces.
However the self pity and disappoinment that I'm dealing right now is much more dominating.
"You done Suzuki?"
One of my classmate ask, I just nod and give my paper silently.
I stare at the window and I can feel my eyes watering despite the fact that I'm trying to sniff so hard and force myself not to break down.
Minutes after, the proof dismissed us good thing it's the last subject for today.
I grab my bag and rush out to the room still walking in the same pace until I got out of the school.
This is the first time I feel so depressed about my exam score because I know that I give my efforts this time to learn it.
If I know that this would be the outcome I should just failed it again.
"Shin even helped and teach me eagerly just for me to understand...it"
I murmured thinking about it makes me cry aloud.
Letting myself to cry as I walk makes me more frustrated, 31/70? Is this my best already?
Isn't my effort are still not enough? How will I tell this to Shin? I didn't even get the passing score.
A month ago I ask Shin to tutor me for my upcoming prelims since I'm doing good after he taught me days ago.
He delightly accept my request and teach me even if we finished until late night just for me to learn.
However this is just the best that I can do even with my efforts on it.
I sit and bow my head to my knees as I silently cry on the the alley that I found.
Stupid Self.
"Ellenilla?"
It made me flinch when I hear a familiar voice.
Calming and composing my breathe, I look up and met the lazy stares of Wakasa.
His droopy eyelid and bored look become dilated a bit when he saw me in that state.
