in which, selena amorim has never had an easy life, yet when she finds herself crossing paths with an old acquaintance, the first glimpses of hope shine through. as the seasons change, their lives take tumultuous turns and their feelings burn. will...
Ups! Tento obrázek porušuje naše pokyny k obsahu. Před publikováním ho, prosím, buď odstraň, nebo nahraď jiným.
My eyes opened wide as the words spilled out of his mouth. "You know what... I'm actually swamped." I led him downstairs as he carefully watched my every movement. Resting my body against the chipping door frame, I saw his eyes give a brief rundown of my figure. He was so obviously drooling over me, and I was not too fond of it. Attention wasn't my favorite; after all, I'd much rather keep it on the low. The spotlight chased me, not vice versa. "Shit," his mutter was loud enough to hear, and it made me feel the slightest amount of sympathy for him and his geek friends. Those friends of his... They were a crowd I didn't want to be seen with. To rephrase, they weren't bad kids, but they weren't my crowd. I was trying to make a name for myself, not drown in even more judgment.
"Well, if you happen to be free, you'll know where to find us." Our eyes locked for a few split seconds before I felt a headache of guilt coming on, "I'll try to make it." Why do I put myself in these situations? I shook it off as I watched him drive into the sunset. I often wondered if he went home all frantic to tell his friends we'd spend the evening together. What if I was a trophy, and our friendship was just a bet waiting to be won? The thought creeped me out. Stan seemed genuine, but I barely knew him; he had no reason to be interested in me anyway. Not because he was on another level than me but because we were two different people that didn't mix in any way. He had a world of tidy women to choose from, and I was the laughing stock. He wanted to change things up, maybe rebel against his parents, make a statement about multicultural relationships, who knows? But I had an ominous feeling I was the punch line of Richie Tozier and Stanley Uris's next joke.
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Just because I'm a big fan of Gianni Versace Jeans doesn't mean I own a pair. My sad life was reflected on the walls of my powder pink room, and apart from the mix of movie and music posters, I had clippings of various runway fashions on my wall. The latest was the Thierry Mugler fall '94. I held up a clipping to my chest as I looked in the mirror; I had no rags to recreate the look, but I could envision how I'd look wearing all of those luxurious brands in some fashionable big city. Instead, I was stuck going to some house party in the middle of Maine.
I threw caution to the wind with this one and decided to quit living in shame after crying for an hour because I didn't look like the model on the cover of Seventeen. I slipped into my minidress, straightened my hair, and out the door I went. The atmosphere of Derry was way different once the sun fell. Some of my acquaintances would sit on their porch with some friends and greet me while I walked by. Most couples would hit the city while I stood perched against the corner at the gas station and watched them anxiously make out in the backseat of their fancy cars. I wasn't hungry for love, but I wouldn't mind if someone were to sweep me off my feet and take me far from here. That feeling deepened as I stepped into Chris's house.
"Lena!" I sighed heavily as I walked towards him and his friends. Kill me now, lay me later. "Hey.." God was this awkward. His friends watched as he drunkenly pulled me in for a hug. "Alright, it's my turn to cop a feel!" Richie smiled as he extended his arms, and I rolled my eyes, blatantly pushing Stan off me. "Fuck off, " I gave him a grin. "Night' y'all." They awkwardly waved; man, did I feel sorry for them and somehow myself too. "Do you want to dance!?" he painfully pronounced every vowel as he slung his arm around me, pressing my side against him. "I don't. I don't dance." He took my hand, and before I had the opportunity to protest, he was twirling me around. It made me laugh how he completely forgot about the world and swung his arms around like there was no tomorrow. I had finally reached a temporary nirvana.
Drenched in sweat from dancing all night, we sat at the edge of Chris's pool with the water up to our calves. "You're going to have the worst headache when you wake up tomorrow." He took the last sip from his cup. "Yeah, but at least I'll get to brag about how I spent it with you." Our eyes locked as the breath left me, and I looked away. Carefully, almost as if not to scare me, he placed his hand atop of mine as our fingers intertwined. "Thank you for tonight, Lena." His arm pulled me into his neck, and I felt my body melt entirely. I was on a cloud of reverie with my nerves in a traffic jam. I had never felt this way, it was like my mind was transcending from one physical state to another, and when my eyes fully met his once more, I found a gleam in his eyes I'd never seen before.
"Thank you for tonight, Lena." I pulled her into my neck as the anxiety traveled through my body. Time slowed, and what was minutes long felt like hours. My defenses broke down completely, and my miserable and predictable life fogged into the unknown. Despite the uncertainty of what would come next, one thing was promised. I would be falling head over shoes faster than she could shake off this moment. I would replay this moment until the thought of her took up the majority of my mind, until my devotion bordered on complete and utter love.
"This is my stop," She grinned sweetly as her hands fiddled with the ruched fabric of the dress, "I believe I owe you a thank you for pushing me out of my comfort zone but never do that again." We erupted in laughter as she gripped the car door tightly. Was I making her uncomfortable? There was a moment of silence between the warm static radiating off the radio. I couldn't decode the solemn look in her eyes; they shot straight towards her feet in the most peculiar way I'd seen. She was silently digging at something within her, something she couldn't figure out herself. As elusive as she was, I was lucky enough to catch small glimpses of who she was. With my trail of breadcrumbs, I could create an emblazoned idea of who she was beginning to become.
Before she could sprint out, I grabbed her hand. "When will I see you again?" My breath was heavy as the lighter within me finally sparked the realization I yearned for her. It was a feeling I had succumb to with no escape whatsoever. There was a specific fear-stricken look on her face as I loosened my grip on her hand. She gulped, "Count the miles to Babylon, Uris." Tender lips planted a kiss on my cheek as she silently disappeared into the night. I watched the door shut and the porch light flip off as time stood still. My heart was beating out of my chest with no sense of direction and no line between real and false. My eyelids were heavy as I let out a laugh, and my legs shook. I was enraptured beyond compare.
