𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 | 𝐒.𝐔.

[011] SURRENDER

The waves crashed on the shore as I sat and watched her play in the water. It was lovely, the feeling that arose, watching her giggle and splash around, purely enjoying herself. Nothing else could compare to this. As the afternoon ascended, the air picked up and the waves grew larger. She effervescently began to jump them and fight but learned quickly that they were much stronger than she was. The waves tossed her around but she got up every time, a joyous laugh escaping her as she rubbed the salt water off her eyes.

At Noon, she finally descended from the crystalline waters to my pale body exposed to the aching sun. "That'll do you no good," she reached into her bag, pulling out an orange "You'll just end up all red!". She broke out in laughter as I slipped the tinted sunglasses down to the rim of my nose, visibly muffling a laugh. There was a slight moment of silence as the juice dripped down her lips, those perfectly lacquered nails swept the residue off them. My breath cut short and my body shifted as I attempted to keep my winding mind on the crashing waves, the sensation of the burnt skin on my body against the cool air setting me back in place.

"Don't just sit there and stare, kiss me fool!" she slipped her body next to mine on the sand as she pressed our lips together. I felt my life begin once again, the joy filling me from head to toe as she lead the way. Senselessly, I toppled atop her and my hands slid down her back. My breath hitched. Her eyes shot open amidst the laughs. Time stopped entirely, captivating us both in a reverie. Our eyes meeting and drifting off as if we were lucidly aware of our situation, ecstasy suddenly bestowed upon us.

That feeling. My heart dropping and slowing as the cool breeze swept our hair in different directions. There was nothing, no one, that could leave me breathless this way. Her megawatt smile radiating the sun beams right onto my eyes, it was contagious, that smile. Her cheeks gently tickled pink, her skin uneven and rough at certain corners yet glowing the way she always was. Minutes turned into hours within her gaze and I felt my life entwine with hers.

It was over. She playfully kicked me off her and I fell on the burning sand below us. She turned to face me and smiled even brighter. "I'm afraid if you stay out here any longer, you might shrivel up." She worked on buttoning up my shirt which she was wearing. Through the white, sheer fabric I could make out the hibiscus print on her triangle bikini. My eyes couldn't help but trail along the figure of her body, I felt a strong pull surging deep within me. I shook it away, my father's words of eternal damnation reverberating within my head.

I knew it was wrong, wanting and viewing her in this way but I truly couldn't shun those feelings away. They had always been present, but as with all feelings in my life, i'd held it back. The truth was, I wasn't the ideal man for her. Rather lanky and a shade of pasty white, personally, I thought my arms were too long and would snap under any amount of pressure. My upper torso wasn't as strong as Mike's or at least as semi-toned as Richie's. Who'd been working his ass off for nearly a year now. Unlike him, I didn't spend my afternoons running laps around a football field, I climbed trees in my backyard and birdwatched for hours on end. Although now, my afternoons were spent on the phone talking to 'Lena or drowning away my despair in tears as the sun faded into the night.

My feelings had become unbearable, she had me so out of touch with reality i'd cry for hours on end trying to grasp the meaning of her every word. Heaven knows how many times my dearest mother walked past my bedroom door and heard my wallows. Id eventually fall asleep until the early hours of the morning where Selena would call me while she took a break from the night shift.

I knew she would never dare to admire someone like me. Someone so deserted and desperate, she would easily leave me behind and I felt it. In turn, it felt wrong to lust after someone I knew wouldn't stay. Not that it happened often, but lord knows, I would never be able to keep her. She wouldn't lay with me if her life depended on it, she seemed to have the whole world in her hands, why would she?

                                            ***

I strayed further and further from her. Her gorgeous silhouette lay across the green suede sofa, facing the oceanside. The now sleek hair trailed down her back as she turned her head to find me standing at the doorway, overshadowed by the four o'clock sun. Longing eyes pierced into me as if pleading me to stay awhile. The same feeling that had engulfed me earlier sent chills through me, making my body ache for the heat of her touch.

Unconsciously, my feet lead the way as I ended up within her grasp. I became increasingly nervous and her heart was visibly pounding. Nothing was said, nothing at all. Breathing hushed as we relied on one another to ease this tension. Her cheeks blushed red as I lay my head against her neck. "Take me out tonight, I want to go dancing." Her fingers wrapped around my curls as I giggled, "Anything you'd like, honey."

So she slipped on her best dress, which she had sewn, and scrunched her curls back into existence. The kohl on her eyelids made her iris stand out and the rouge on her lips was surely to stain my collar later tonight. Her stereo boomed with some popular tune, she had been in the bathroom for half an hour while I sat on the balcony of the beautiful vacation home with my heart beating out of my chest.

                                       ***

This wasn't my scene, she was a definite fit. Her curls bounced up as she sprawled around the floor to some unheard indie band. The glass of champagne dropping from her hands and shattering, yet the crowds didn't seem to notice. I felt the sweat drip down my blouse as I sat back against the cool brick wall, some stranger sat next to me puffed his smoke onto my face causing me to descend into a coughing fit as I took constant sips from my beer to alleviate my anxiety. This underground pub which doubled as a club after hours, was increasingly sketchy. Most lightbulbs were shattered and the stereo was far too old. The beer within my hands tasted ancient, yet i had to sip on something, whatever it was to distract me.

She looked so beautiful, liberated like this. I often pondered how many nights she would lock her door and dance around like this. There was something so intriguing about what she did in her own intimate time. It was a tendency of mine to try and decrypt her ways, my mind wandered as per usual but this time, crossing unspoken territory. I allowed my ravaging lust to consume me as I lost myself in thoughts about the texture of her skin, the scent of her hair, or the feeling of awaking to her glorious presence. I was willing to surrender myself to her, utterly and completely. Tonight.

A tender hand grabbed mine, dragging me towards the enormous heat. Techno music played as bodies blurred around me, her amber scent soothed me the moment our bodies pressed. "Let go Uris! Just tonight!" I couldn't hear her but I laughed, I took one last sip of my beer and tossed it before head back towards her. Drenched in sweat we danced once again, reminiscent of many nights before us at Chris's party. This time it was different, it was personal and messy. Just the way I needed it. My fears faded and I laughed uncontrollably, spinning and dancing around the floor with her hand in my own. She was my saving grace.

Panting, we stood against the tightly packed walls of the entrance. Amongst us couples passionately embraced and completely devoured each other. Both of us stood there awkwardly, no clue as to what to do now. I towered above her, cornering her back onto the wall in an attempt to make space for others passing behind us. The attempt, however , ended up setting the tone for the night. She giggled shyly as she stepped on the very tips of her toes to kiss my lips, even with such painstakingly high heels, she couldn't reach. Her hands explored my chest, teasing the buttons down my shirt as I became more and more acquiescent. I shunned my apprehension and kissed her tightly, I could feel her body squirming under mine. "Let's get out of here." A smirk grew on her face.

The chilling wind blew through our hair as we ran through the hazy streets of the town. We were free, we simply belonged to one another. It was the epitome of our lives, rummaging through that convenience store, barely able to keep our hands or lips off each other. She grabbed copious amounts of
Food and drinks and of course, a pack of Reds. I slid my ID across the table and she smiled, I gripped my hand across her waist, pulling her closer. Who would've thought a simple gesture could've led to all this?