Always//H.S. (Sequel to Alive)

can i...

Can I, see you right now, I know the sun is up, baby?
Sorry, you don't really have a choice
Can I, ever make you feel like I'm down for you, baby?
You do so much more for them than me
Can I, finally take the time and open up to you, baby?
'Cause that's the side you never get to see

Lila Rose

Running in the morning will always be my favorite.

Jameson doesn't usually love when I run early in the morning because it wears me out far more than his sessions later in the day, but that's the reason I like it. I get so anxious before seeing harry in the morning, and the lack of sleep I get really helps me push myself even further. I'm really glad that Harry came yesterday, especially since we were able to talk about what happened and such, instead of pushing it away. We haven't talked since, well, until he told me he'd be at the office around nine this morning.

It sometimes surprises me that he had been getting up so early, considering how late he would go out every single night. The air was freezingly cold this morning as I sprint around my neighborhood, the streets quiet but the smell of grass was nowhere to be found. I loved running in Kentucky when I stayed there just because of the atmosphere. Los Angeles doesn't have any huge trees or fields of green long grasses, and the sound of the birds is something that always made me just feel so at home. There was something about the silence of Kentucky that just made it so much better to push me to get even further in shape, and made it easier and easier to go farther. I hated how lonely it was there though.

Being alone in the house I grew up in without my dad there was something that made me feel like  I was isolated from society, and as much as the delight that had brought me in my first few days, it started to feel like I was the only person that cared for myself. It was odd, going from feeling like I could marry someone to being single all in the time span of a week. I was by myself after being held every single night by someone that meant the absolute fucking world to me.

The office is quiet when I get there, my hair still wet from my shower, and I tug at the back of my dress, a soft sweater over it, and my face was freshly washed, only a bit of mascara and brow gel on me. Journee wasnt even there yet, and considering the room wasnt filled with Deltas usual humming, i presumed she wasnt there either. I slowly start to unpack my bag, humming a familiar tune as I sign into my computer, standing as it loads and I shuffle through our mail, opening boxes as the songs from the movie I watched last night play over and over in my head.

"I'm trying to hold my breath...let it stay this way, can't let this moment end...you set off a dream in me...getting louder now, can you hear it echoing?" I sing softly, letting my voice travel across the marbled floors of the office, the music playing in my ears as I press play on the phone, listening to the sound of my voice mixed with hers. "Take my hand, will you share this with me, cause darling without you.." I sing, neatly organizing the printed photos out across my desk, dragging my finger over the ones of harry, his eyes glittering in every single one, and I almost stop singing when I see one of us, laughing and joking around while on the set.

If I saw myself doing this a year ago, I would kill myself.

"All the shine of a thousand spotlights, all the stars we steal from the night sky, will never be enough...never be enough... towers of gold are still too little, these hands will hold the world and it'll never be enough, never be enough," I sing out, twirling around in my dress, smiling ear to ear and I twirl into my chair, crossing my legs as I answer emails, continuing on singing.

"Towers of gold are still too little, these hands will hold the world but it'll never-" I stop, nearly screaming as Harry stays still, leaning against the door frame of my office, a wide smile covering his face, and I clear my throat, stopping the music and I just stare at him, a smirk covering his whole face. My knees feel weak under me, him stepping inside a bit, frowning at me. "Why'd you stop?" He asks, starting to walk even closer and I gulp, looking up at his bright eyes, his hair hanging in his eyes. "Hi," I whisper, flushed all across my body and he smiles again softer this time. "Hi," He whispers, walking into the office, closing the door behind him, and he sits down on the pink chairs, leaning forward on his elbows. "Missed hearing you sing like that...why'd you stop?" He whispers again, and I shift in my seat at the way his words affect me, pushing me further and further into wanting to just smash my lips to his, and the ache in my core at the way he talks and just looks at me is almost embarrassing.