Always//H.S. (Sequel to Alive)

scoop

Shit, I been working on my body, yeah (I been working on my body)
Working overtime to make sure I'll be the scoop
They gon' know me, scoop
Well, baby (D-D-Daytrip took it to ten, hey)

lila rose

(present day...march 17th 2018...8:27 am)

up. down slowly. up. down slowly.

i look up into the mirror as i curl up the weights, pushing my hair back by blowing it away, sweat dripping down my body as music pumps in my ears. the gym was practically empty as i finished my third round of weights, walking to the squat stand, putting fourties' on each side and i hang my arms over the cold metal, hanging my head and i try and take deep breaths to even myself out.

i stayed up all night after going to harry, getting here at nearly five after spending the night trying to make everything perfect for the meeting tomorrow, and the launch in a few days for the lipgloss, and the anxiety is really high right now. i have a doctors appointment later today, and i always have gotten so nervous for them, especially since we always have to have that talk about my scars and my weight. i hate every single part of it. i move tomorrow night, meaning i've also been stress packing while trying to wish away anything else piling on top of the stress.

i jump out of my clouded mindset when i realize how shaky and dangerously weak my legs were feeling, pushing myself to do two more squats before i set the bar back down on the rack, breathing heavily, and i blink blurred dry eyes away as i try and regain my focus, hearing someone call my name softly behind me, but i feel my vision going blurry again.

"lila? sit down...you're going pale," the voice was familiar and i feel warm hands show me to the bench and i rub at my eyes, opening them and i slowly blink, frantically grabbing for my water and taking g a long sip, feeling my body start to calm down. "maybe you shouldn't be lifting over two hundred pounds forty times in a row, lila rose," i know that voice anywhere, i know that fucking voice anywhere.

i finally open my eyes, them wide as i'm met with a chest-covered in a grey shirt clinging to defined golden abs as sweat stuck onto his glowing skin. it was harry, right when i needed someone he's always there. i groan, laying back on the bench and he laughs, leaning down beside me, poking my shoulder. "drink water, kid, you've been here two hours at least," he says and i look up at him, still heaving heavy breaths, trying to make words connect in my brain, but nothings working.

i knew he went to this gym,just because i saw it on the news once with him and kendall going here together, but he hasn't ever been here at the same time i have-until now i guess. i guess it was glued to the back of my mind that whenever he's here it's with her, and whenever he's with her i'm reminded of why he left. it's something different now than it was before, the feeling i get when she's around him or vise-versa, before i felt shame because she missed him, but now i feel even more shame because it was obvious that he wanted her more.

i'm too tired to even get horny at the sight of him like this-fucking dripping in sweat and looking just so fucking good.

"what time is it?" i mumble, hearing him sit at the bench across from me, and he takes a second before replying. "almost 9:30...how long have you been here?" he asks and i completely disregard his question, slowly sitting up and i look him over again, glasses on his nose like before and his hair was pulled back in a bun, the front curls dripping with sweat, and i admire the way his eyes were glued to mine, just watching me drink him in.

"v' got time for one more round," i mumble, standing and harry follows me, talking and i try and walk to lift the weight from the bench, but he stopped me, and he puts his hand on my waist, pulling me away and i groan. i promised myself i'd workout till ten...i'm not letting myself get off track just because he doesn't want me to faint-i've done worse.