Always//H.S. (Sequel to Alive)

we're not kids anymore

Friendships can last a lifetime
But then, sometimes they just don't
Never thought it would be you, it was meant to be us
Against the world
But now, we're only gettin' older
I wish somebody would've told us
That we're not kids anymore

h.

lila's hand squeezes mine as the music quiets, my mother's talking shadowing down behind the seats as she turns towards the door, her once-clear eyes now glossy, and she glances at me.

I've missed you so much.

the words she mouthed made my head pound loud in my ears, and I give her a small smile, squeezing Lila's hand as she looks at the pamphlet. My heart thumps rapidly in my chest, my worst nightmare starting in mere minutes, the face of my angered sister mortifyingly clear in the back of my mind

I didn't know yet whether I actually missed her or not, I just missed being around the people I knew most, outside of Lila. "harry," Lila mumbles, and I look away from the place in which I will see my sister for the first time in years, and her hand finds my back, rubbing small circles on it and I sigh, leaning against her.

"I love you, harry," Lila's voice makes my spine tingle, and I sit up straight again, running a hand through my hair, and I turn to look at her, giving her a small smile at the look she gives me, her signature soft glance, a hint of worry behind those big blue eyes.

I wished deep down that we were home, in her house, cuddled up with Loki and under her pink comforter. but I knew this was important, and I knew that this would help me and my family in the long run.

"I love you more," I whisper, leaning back against her so I could reach her cheek, giving it a gentle kiss before I face directly forward again. The pews were decorated in beige lace, and the wooden floor was covered in delicate silk, perfect for walking down. I wanted so badly to be sitting up front, just by where Ruby was and my mum, and be a part of the family, but I knew it didn't work that way, at least not in the situation we were in now.

My vision becomes clear again as everyone turns, and the huge wooden doors to the left of us open, revealing a man, tall with bright red hair and a thin-looking beard, one that reminded me of mitch a bit. The fact that I had never seen the person y sister was going to marry hit me then, right in the middle of my heart, and I stare at the stranger, him standing beside more people I didn't recognize. My hands began to sweat, my heart pounding, and my head began to spin, watching with watery eyes as women in red matching dresses, some of which I could recognize as some of Gemma's childhood friends, one of which gave me a glance, an odd look in her eyes.

A song starts, my hand finding Lila's thigh, and I grasp it tightly, trying to keep myself in this seat, trying to keep my feelings back the best I could. I didn't want to embarrass myself more than I already have.

I watch as my big sister, the person I thought about every single day for nearly three years, walked around the corner, in a beautiful white dress with long sleeves, her eyes already glossy. She looked so different. Her hair was so long, nearly to the middle of her back and she had what I could see as a tattoo on her back, one she didn't have the last time I saw her.

I feel my eyes well, and I look away, everyone in the room standing.

I didn't realize how hard I was starting to cry until a lone tear fell down my cheek, and she begins to walk down the aisle, her welling eyes glued to her fiance, the man I hadn't even met yet. I wanted everything to go differently than it was right now, I wanted her to know that I was with Lila again.

I wanted her to know that I was nearly a month sober. I wanted her to know how sorry I was for letting the breakup get between me and my family, including drugs. I wanted her to know that Lila saved my life.